GREEN-LIGHT revolution

This week, I will be sharing interviews with several of these women. While there are many single ladies I love and admire, I wanted to interview married women specifically for this series. The women I will introduce to you this week have lived for God wholeheartedly; first as single ladies, then as wives and mothers. I am confident you will also be blessed by hearing from them.

Going green!

Lynn Fleshman

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1. In my former life, before marriage and having children, I loved to rock climb. (For those of you who are familiar with the sport: I was a trad climber, and red-pointed a few 5.10's.) For the rest of you, I know that means nothing. It feels like that was a lifetime ago.
2. I love to do scientific (and not so scientific) research. I am blessed to have a twin sister who has really been a forerunner in healthy eating (and in many other areas) for me and so this is a main area of interest in my research, but I do spend free time looking into lots of different topics. Most of my friends giggle (or secretly roll their eyes) when I start yet another conversation with this phrase: "I was reading a really interesting study the other day...."
3. I will have been married for 10 years in May, and I have one of those amazing husbands who is easy to love and like! We have four beautiful children: three dudes and one little lady.

1. What are some of the habits you cultivated during your single years that have helped you as a married woman?

Reading the Bible. Confessing sin. Listening for God's voice and being obedient, even when it hurt in the short-term. I also spent a lot of time worshiping alone in my dorm room (usually along with Waterdeep or Sonic Flood). I tried to be purposeful in taking my problems to God first, instead of seeking out the advice of my girlfriends or mentors immediately and emotionally. I met with women regularly to give an account of myself. I still think about this time and thank God for the women who took the time to invest in me.

2. What's one thing you have learned about men that you didn't know before you were married?

This may not be true of all men, but I have learned that it really is what is on the inside of a woman that counts. Sure, my husband thinks I am pretty, and in fact, he says that I was his "dream girl." However, I have found that compliments abound when I am seeking God's face, and being beautiful on the inside. This brings great joy to both of our hearts. I really did not believe this could be true of a man before I was married.

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

Well, if you mean the nitty gritty of it all, here goes: on a typical day it includes taking care of his physical needs and those of our children. Taking care of our home. Touching base with him occasionally through the day to see how I can pray for him or encourage him while he is working. It means setting my agenda according to his agenda. It also means helping him by having a loving, kind, and non-critical attitude toward him and the children throughout the day. I am not very good at this, but God is helping me!

4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

Honestly, in this season, it is easy to first say that I appreciate their HELP! It is a humbling situation for me. I have a solid handful of single girl friends who are willing to watch my kids even when it is not convenient for them, pick up things at the store for me, serve on teams I lead even when I forget to ask them until the night before (you know who you are). These women give our family their time and attention and energy, and I am SO thankful for their selfless love. I seriously would not be the woman I am without them. I feel silly for listing their help first, because there are so many other things I value about their friendships, like their zeal for following God, their desire to be submitted and to make themselves accountable, and their willingness to encourage and correct me when I need it!

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

I think I would have lots of questions for myself and they might go something like this:

• "Kari, why are you spending so much of your time and money on your personal entertainment? Rock climbing and mountain biking are great, but what and who are you worshiping? You are sending a mixed signal to your non-Christian friends."
• "Why do you have so many ‘close’ friends who are guys? These are not relationships you will be able to keep."
• "Who are you serving today? Are you practicing being selfless? Marriage will require this."
• "You have more influence than you realize. How are you using this influence?