A few months back I heard a sermon by Pastor Mark Driscoll about friendships, relationship, basically all human interaction, (http://www.marshillchurch.org). At one point in the sermon Pastor Mark discussed how women can be prone to manipulate a situation. Immediately I was offended. Immediately I was convicted.
He mentioned how, for example, a couple can be fighting and the woman starts crying…now that act might not have been intended to manipulating the situation, but it did. However, the more I prayed about it afterward the more I realized that this isn’t the manipulation I’m guilty of…my manipulation goes deeper than that.
Have you ever had a goal? I think goals are good. I also thing plans are good. Hence, every time I have a goal, I have a plan. And my plans are flawless. If I just do this, that that will happen…which will lead to that, then that, then that, and in the end everything will turn out exactly as I intended it. Perfect!...except for the fact that Jesus is nowhere in my plan. D’OH!
Let’s take guys for example…I want a guy to pursue me. No woman wants to have to convince a guy that she is worth it…but what I am guilt of is lack of faith and trust that God has good plans and knows me desires. So in my head I know that if a guy is interested he will buck up and make a move. But, do I trust that? Or do I manipulate the situation? Do I facebook him? Text him? Email him? All innocently of course…you know just getting in his way a little. No harm in initiating a friendship…which of course will lead to coffee, which will lead to dinner, and marriage, and babies…I mean…crap. I don’t really think like that…or act like that…oh wait!
Is this manipulation? Well, for me, manipulation is acting in a way to change circumstances to turn out the way I want. Does this mean I should never have a plan? Or never act? Or just passively sit back in all situations? Of course not…but I do feel convicted that I need to check my heart. Is my ultimate desire to have God’s will done or my own? Do I trust that His will is a good one? Do I trust that God has a plan?
I would like to say yes…but that would be a lie. What I can say is that while I was still a sinner Christ died for me, (Romans 5:8). That I am a work in progress, (Philippians 1:6). And that just because I didn’t trust God in that past, doesn’t mean I won't trust Him in the future. Amen to that!
April 14, 2010 at 8:22 AM
From another habitual "plan-maker" I wanted to thank you for this post. Your honesty was beautiful and the insight on manipulation was helpful to me. It presents itself differently in my life, but is something I must check often in my heart.