GREEN-LIGHT revolution

Good evening!

Here it is... Part III! If you haven’t read my experiences in Part I and II, then go ahead and read them! :) This past year God has carried me through many different struggles and reminded me daily of His faithfulness! My last two posts were stories of how I just happened to be in Joplin during the May, 22nd tornado and how He protected me from what could have been a very serious car accident. When you have near death or catastrophic things happen in your life, it shakes you and causes you to be reminded of what's really holding you together in the first place. That is just what happened to me!

After the tornado, I was in shock. I didn’t know why it happened and I didn’t know why people had died and I had lived. One thing I did know was that God was still in control and that He was still good because He never changes. I couldn’t understand the randomness of it happening while I was visiting Joplin, but I did know God’s hand was on my life. It still takes my breath away that He had even been preparing my heart for something life-shaking to happen earlier that day.

On my flight home on January 3rd, I had been journaling about feeling torn between my home in NH and my home in Joplin, here is how I concluded my frustrations,

“I am still very thankful for His hand in my life. I’d be utterly lost without Him. I’m willing to admit that I don’t completely understand, but I still completely trust His sovereignty even when my feelings are messing with my head.”

This was just hours before my car incident where for lack of a better term, “My life flashed before my eyes.” There He was again, preparing my heart for trials.

Why have I shared these stories with you ladies? So I could victimize myself and get my 15 minutes of fame? Nope! I’ve taken the time to write out these experiences because I believe that God is glorified through them! We have all gone through inexplainable situations/seasons in our life that we don’t understand but amidst our confusing and faith-shaking times, there is hope! The Psalmist says in Psalm 73:26,

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

When we feel weary in our hearts and bodies, we can be reminded that the Creator of the universe is our strength and all that we need! We can be reminded that, “God’s hand is on you and if He took His hand off of you for even a minute, you’d cease to exist." (excerpt from @JoshKouri at Mobilise) God’s hand is one of strength and might and there isn’t a second that goes by, when He isn’t involved in our lives.

He IS faithful. Rest in the truth of that this weekend and this lifetime! Wow oh, wow! He is good!

Going green,

Abby :)

January 3rd, 2012:

I had spent the entire day traveling and was heading back to Missouri after spending two wonderful weeks with my family. During my plane ride, I had been journaling and questioning God about His purposes for my life... I was wrought with curiosity why He was allowing me to feel so torn between NH and MO. I was having an emotional flight to say the least!

Upon arriving in Kansas City, my friend was kind enough to pick me up at the airport and drive me back to Joplin. It was early evening and we had three hours on the quiet Missouri highways to catch up. Our ride was going smoothly and I’d even thought about remarking about just how smoothly it was going, when all of a sudden something happened. We had just gotten in the left lane and were trying to pass the semi truck next to us. All of a sudden, the car behind the semi, which was next to us, tried to cut in front of our car. There was no possible way it could fit, so my friend did what anyone would do and veered the car towards the median and eventually spun back on the road. All I remember was seeing the lights of another semi and thinking in my head, “This is really going to hurt.” (Yes I know, what a brilliant and helpful thing to be running through my head at the time). Before I knew it, the car had come to an abrupt halt off the right side of the highway. Both of us were fine. She'll tell you that she doesn't even remember what she did to keep us from hitting the other semi...it was nothing short of a miracle.

I’ve never had an experience like that in my life. There have been times where I thought I might get badly injured but never a time where I thought I could die. We could have been smashed by a semi and the car should have rolled. It is nothing but the grace of God that both of us escaped uninjured.

Now that you've heard my two stories... I want to assure you that I didn't post them just so I could talk about myself. There is a point to all of this. :)

Tune in tomorrow for Part III...

Going green,

Abby

Last weekend I was at a Newfrontiers USA conference called, “Mobilise” and it was amazing. There are so many reasons why this weekend was great... Not only did I get to see friends from all over the country but I also got to worship and seek God with them. There is one thing that someone prayed at Mobilise that I've been mulling over all week, “God’s hand is on you and if He took His hand off of you for even a minute, you’d cease to exist.” Talk about a reality check! This sentence affected me greatly and brought to mind two experiences from my past year...

May, 22nd, 2011: At the time, I was still living in NH but visiting Joplin for a friend’s wedding. That morning I went to church and was reunited with many of my best friends. It was a happy day, indeed! During worship at church, I felt clearly that God wanted to tell the church that He is good through all circumstances and we can trust Him no matter what we’re going through. At this point in the day, I was thinking, “Yeah, that's great God... I’m so happy right now and I'm feeling totally blessed.” Little did I know...

Fast forward 6 hours later... I was driving back to where I was staying with a friend and the weather was starting to look so eerie and calm. The sky looked like I’d never seen it look before and suddenly, all the radio stations had weather alerts playing. I’d heard tornado alerts before but like a lot of people living in the Midwest, I’d never taken their warnings too seriously. As we neared our destination, the radio announcers got increasingly serious and before I knew it; they started talking about how the tornado had hit the ground. At this point, I was still relatively calm and continued driving towards our destination. The radio stations announced that signs of the tornado would be rain and hail. Sure enough, it started to rain and hail began to shower from the sky just as the tornado sirens started blaring. I began to freak out and for a lack of a better term I “Put the pedal to the metal!” Thankfully, we reached the house and ran down to the basement. We sat down there with our friends and some neighbors and laughed, trying to pass the time...we were completely oblivious to whatever was happening outside until we turned on the radio and heard a man describe the incredible devastation.

Later on, I learned that it was a F-5 tornado and over 100 people had died. Here I was taking my vacation time for the year and out of nowhere a tornado destroys one of my most beloved towns. It was one of the most life-changing days I've ever experienced and left me totally speechless.

So, here I leave you with my first story...

Stay tuned for Part II and III...

Going green,

Abby

Happy Belated Thanksgiving, Ladies!

I hope you all enjoyed a day filled with food, good company, relaxation and thankfulness! :) As I promised a few days ago, this is the first of my posts about Thanksgiving. I look at the day as an amazing opportunity to check my attitude. The very reason why we celebrate this day is to “give thanks” and I can’t think of one person who deserves more of our thanks than Jesus Christ.

I don’t know about all of you but I need many reminders of God’s goodness. Some days I’ll be in a state of awe, thinking about Jesus’ sacrifice and then other days I’ll be consumed with some petty issue and not even thank Jesus once. This frustrates me so much! How can I forget such an incredible blessing so easily? While this frustrates me, it also makes me more aware of God’s grace. What an incredibly gracious God I serve! If I had a child who stated they loved me one day and then acted like I didn’t exist the next day, I would become severely irritated. (Thankfully, this is not how God is) He has so much love and grace for us that He continually reveals Himself to us, and lavishes His love upon us. Even when we fill our hearts and minds with distractions, He brings us back to Him and he doesn’t just do this once or twice in our life, He reminds us often in creative and wonderful ways.

It’s always the times that I’m filling my mind distractions that my attitude is in need of an adjustment. So that’s one of the reasons I love Thanksgiving, because it's a great reminder of God’s love towards me. It’s a day to reflect on everything that HE has given me and it’s always a great reminder for me to pour out my thanksgiving to Him! He is so worthy of all the "thanks" that I'm capable of giving. I'm thankful for Thanksgiving (hah, that sounds funny) because it's a needed reminder of how much God has blessed me and that He is worthy of all my praise!

Thanks Jesus for being so good!

Going green,

Abby

I have a confession... I’m obsessed with the full moon. Every time I see it, I’m overwhelmed by it’s quiet and magnificent beauty. Before you start becoming concerned, don’t worry...I will not be blogging about werewolves in this post, despite their immense popularity in pop culture. ;) Instead I wanted to share a story about how this obsession started.

A few years ago, I was hanging out with some friends and I felt God prompting me to leave the group and go outside. So, I quietly slipped out onto a balcony where I was alone. For a while I was wondering why God had led me away from my friends to this empty balcony, and then I looked up and saw the fullest moon I have ever laid eyes on! I was overwhelmed. Immediately, Psalm 8:3-5 came to my mind...

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,

and the son of man that you care for him?

Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings

and crowned him with glory and honor.

While staring up at that magnificent full moon, I prayed this Psalm back to God and He simply whispered to me, “I love you more.” I couldn’t help but gaze up at that moon in awe. I was left speechless thinking about how amazing it is that God who created the glorious moon in such a special and marvelous way loves ME! He loves me enough to send His ONLY son to die on that cross and bear the weight of all of my sins, so I can live a guilt-free and purposeful life here on this earth. He even loves me more than His glorious creations like the sun, moon and stars! What?! That was just too much for me to handle.

It’s been 2 years since I had this experience with my Father. Yes! I have forgotten about this awesome experience since then and I have even had some discouraging times. Still, God is so gracious to give me a reminder like the moon because every time I see it, I am overwhelmed. Each time, I remember just how much He loves me and just how undeserving I am of that love. Wow God, you’re so good!

I hope that you’re encouraged dear sisters and that you remember and are overwhelmed daily with just how much our Father loves us! Maybe you’ll even remember the depth of His love the next time you’re looking at a full moon. Who knows! :)

Going green,

Abby

Happy Monday!

Can’t believe it’s my turn to post again! It’s amazing how much has changed in such a small timespan. Guess what ladies?! I’ve moved back to Missouri and actually, I’ve been back for a month now! I guess you could say God has been doing some major prompting in the past few months. A long story short, I was here in Joplin for the tornado and realized that I really wanted to be here again, so I asked God to either give me a reason to stay in NH, or a reason to go back to Joplin. A few days later, I was given a reason to go, so here I am. Needless to say... I'm pretty excited! :D

Since moving back to Joplin, I’ve been thinking a lot about the meaning of “home”. For the majority of my life, I've lived in the same house in NH, so is that my home? Or is Joplin my home now? Does your home have to do with a location? People? Feelings? Where is my home? Maybe you’ve also pondered the same type of stuff before. I know that every time I start getting caught up with these thoughts, one word of encouragement always comes to mind. Just before I left NH for the first time, a friend of mine had a word for me saying, “As you leave your family, the places you’ve always known, maybe feel out of place or lonely remember to ABIDE IN JESUS. He is your home. He will always be you home.” Ok, maybe this doesn’t sound like such a revolutionary idea, but for me it was and continues to be.

The answer to my previous questions about home find their answer in Jesus. My home is with Him. In His presence. What a great reminder! Our home is with Jesus and it will be with Jesus for eternity! It doesn’t matter if I’m feeling lonely, or if I don’t know where exactly I belong, I’m ALWAYS home. I’ve probably quoted this Psalm before but I just can’t help but type it again...

You make known to me that path of life, in your presence is fullness of joy. At your right hand are pleasure forevermore.- Psalm 16:11.

My goal is to rest in this encouragement! No one knows what journey is set before us. Maybe some of us will live in the same town for the rest of our lives, and maybe others will travel the globe... Either way it doesn’t matter because if we have Jesus, we have our ETERNAL home that will NEVER change...experiencing fullness of joy in His presence and pleasures forevermore. Amen to that!

Going green,

Abby

Oh and PS...Congratulations to our very own Rebekah Kruvand who got engaged last week! We are all so thrilled for you Bek! God is good! :D

Just last week, I lost one of the most amazing women in my life-- my Memere who lost her battle with Cancer. She was a loving-servant who set an amazing example for all who knew her and will be missed terribly.

My Memere and Pepere were working on their 50^th year of marriage!!! They were a couple truly committed to each other and it was during the past week they really proved that they meant “till death do us part”. As heartbreaking as it was to say goodbye to Memere, I’ve found myself in awe of her relationship with Pepere and I’ve really been thinking a lot about what it means to be committed. I feel like commitment can be a scary word. Women always give men a hard time about being scared to commit but when I examine my own life, I can see that’s the case for me as well. I change my mind a lot and I can be very fickle, sadly enough—even with Jesus. We live in a society that doesn't like to commit and I’m not just talking about marriage here either. We go through some hard patch where we’re not happy with our job, our friends, or our newest piece of technology and we’re ready to give them up just like that. As much as I hate generalizations, this is something that seems to be very prevalent in our generation.

So, what should my response be?

Should I feel condemned or scared by the idea of commitment? No.

Should I be excited about this opportunity of growth God has given me? Yes!

Right now, I may be single and have pretty much no prospect of marriage on the horizon, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t grow in my ability to be faithful. I really believe God was speaking to me throughout my Memere’s last days, showing me another picture of His Faithfulness to us, while also challenging me to grow. When I decided to follow Jesus all those years ago, I entered into a committed relationship with the King of the universe. Since that day, He has never left my side, never stopped comforting me, never stopped guiding me and never stopped loving me. Now, I have the opportunity to grow in being faithful by continuously chasing after Him, by not taking my eyes off of the prize, by trusting Him with my time, thoughts, money and all that I am. I have the opportunity to stray away from culture and be committed, even when my feelings are telling me something different than what truth has already told me.

I know that I can live opposite of this culture and be committed because Jesus is committed to me. You know that old saying, "The TRUTH will set you free!"? Well, I am convinced of that more and more every day! I have FREEDOM to commit through Jesus who set the ultimate example for me! Thank you Lord!

Going green!

Abby

There are times when I struggle with keeping the right perspective, and occasionally I find myself throwing a “Pity Party” for none other than--yours truly. The urban dictionary defines a Pity Party as: “A way of experiencing grief, in which you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is.” (And yes, I just quoted the urban dictionary!) Even just yesterday, I found myself enjoying a wonderful little pity party. It all started when I began to think about myself and dwell on the things that I don’t understand in my life. I was so consumed with dwelling on myself that there was not much space left in my thoughts for anyone else. But then, as He normally does, Jesus so graciously crashed my Pity Party. This time, it was in the form of Psalm 16:11:

You make known to me the path of life;

in your presence there is fullness of joy;

at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

When I thought of this verse, I was filled with inexplicable worship for my King. I knew that opposed to my prior worries about my life, this verse IS the truth. It IS true that God is making known to me the path he has for my life. It IS true that I can have FULLNESS of joy in His presence AND, it IS true that I will be able to enjoy Him forever. Wow! Forget the pity party and give me Jesus!

Another thing, I was so overcome with during this encounter with Jesus was His unending Grace and Faithfulness towards me. This was not the first “pity party” I’d ever thrown for myself and this was certainly not the first time God had countered my self-absorption with truth about who He is. Once again, He’d shown me that worshipping Him in Spirit and in Truth can always trump a bad mood or a skewed perspective in life. God is so Faithful to continually remind me of His Goodness! And not only does He continually remind us of His Goodness but He showers us with good things. Friends, let's take a minute to think of anything good that's ever happened in our lives, well, everything coming to mind right now has come to us from the Lord! Like the Psalmist says in Psalm 16:1:

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.”

So, whether or not life is turning out the way we want it to... We do have all the good we could ever need, because we have Jesus and His promises are GOOD!

I'm so thankful for a God that doesn't let me wallow in self-pity but instead, brings me into His presence so I can experience fullness of joy while worshipping my saviour! Thanks Jesus!

Going green,

Abby

P.S. By the way, how fitting is it that I post a GREEN-Light entry on the "green-est" holiday of the year!

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Ladies! :)