Psalms

Webster's dictionary defines a 'psalm' as, " a sacred song or poem used in worship."

After beginning to work through a particularly deep and somewhat painful part of my life, I was encouraged to write a psalm about what God has been doing in me. It was an extremely beneficial exercise and I've found that I'm really holding onto this psalm as God & I continue to walk along in this phase of the journey. It really has been something that - when I go back and read it, or even when bits of it just come to my mind - leads me to worship God and thank him for what he's rescued me out of, and what he's saved me into. Writing a psalm about where God has you at the moment, is something I would highly recommend. This is the psalm of my life for right now:

I threw myself into a deep pit
And broke my legs when I landed
Incapacitated and in pain
But I didn't want your help

The rain began to fall
The pit began to fill with water
Struggling and drowning
Yet I still didn't want your help

I rolled around in the mud
Thinking it would protect me from the heat of the sun
Scorched by the sun, the mud caked to my skin
Clothing me in the evidence of my shame and pride
And masking my face; hiding the fact that I once looked like you
Burnt and filthy
Yet I still didn't want your help

My enemies gathered around the pit
And stoned me with lies
They shouted:
"He's given up on you"
"You've failed one too many times"
"You might as well just walk away from him"
"You deserve every bad thing that's happened to you"
"You'll never get out of this pit"
Crushed and defeated
I lay.

But you, my God
You rescued me

Despite my sin, you searched for me
You called my name
You chased away all my enemies
And lifted me out of the pit
You breathed your life into my lungs

You caused the rain to fall
Not to drown, but to cleanse
Washing away the sins that clung to me
And distorted who you made me to be

You caused the sun to shine
Not to burn, but to warm
Enveloping me in your forgiveness and mercy

But you didn't fix my legs
Instead you carried me
In your arms
What did I do to deserve this grace?

In answer, you pull my head against your chest
And I can hear the rhythm of your heart

Not a heart that I created
Or a heart that I can control
But a heart whose every beat says,
"I love you"

Father, carry me wherever you want
I am utterly defeated by your love.

Going Green,
Sam

Posted in

I Can Commit Because He is Committed to Me...

Just last week, I lost one of the most amazing women in my life-- my Memere who lost her battle with Cancer. She was a loving-servant who set an amazing example for all who knew her and will be missed terribly.

My Memere and Pepere were working on their 50th year of marriage!!! They were a couple truly committed to each other and it was during the past week they really proved that they meant “till death do us part”. As heartbreaking as it was to say goodbye to Memere, I’ve found myself in awe of her relationship with Pepere and I’ve really been thinking a lot about what it means to be committed. I feel like commitment can be a scary word. Women always give men a hard time about being scared to commit but when I examine my own life, I can see that’s the case for me as well. I change my mind a lot and I can be very fickle, sadly enough—even with Jesus. We live in a society that doesn't like to commit and I’m not just talking about marriage here either. We go through some hard patch where we’re not happy with our job, our friends, or our newest piece of technology and we’re ready to give them up just like that. As much as I hate generalizations, this is something that seems to be very prevalent in our generation.

So, what should my response be?

Should I feel condemned or scared by the idea of commitment? No.

Should I be excited about this opportunity of growth God has given me? Yes!

Right now, I may be single and have pretty much no prospect of marriage on the horizon, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t grow in my ability to be faithful. I really believe God was speaking to me throughout my Memere’s last days, showing me another picture of His Faithfulness to us, while also challenging me to grow. When I decided to follow Jesus all those years ago, I entered into a committed relationship with the King of the universe. Since that day, He has never left my side, never stopped comforting me, never stopped guiding me and never stopped loving me. Now, I have the opportunity to grow in being faithful by continuously chasing after Him, by not taking my eyes off of the prize, by trusting Him with my time, thoughts, money and all that I am. I have the opportunity to stray away from culture and be committed, even when my feelings are telling me something different than what truth has already told me.

I know that I can live opposite of this culture and be committed because Jesus is committed to me. You know that old saying, "The TRUTH will set you free!"? Well, I am convinced of that more and more every day! I have FREEDOM to commit through Jesus who set the ultimate example for me! Thank you Lord!

Going green!

Abby

Posted in

Be angry and do not sin

I have an offense to overlook and it's tough! This event left me
incredibly angry. As my anger has subsided, I've realized that I am
hurt, sad, confused, disappointed, and surprised at the offender!

When this first happened, I was so mad. I talked about it...at first,
my motive was to get it off my chest...but as I stayed angry and kept
talking about it, I became convicted of the bitterness in my heart. I
felt malice. I slandered the offender to others.
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and
give no opportunity to the devil. - Ephesians 4:26-27, ESV
The Bible tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger. I ignored
that advice for about 2 weeks...ignored the gentle but recognizable
reminders from the Lord of his Forgiveness, all the time. As time
passed, my heart softened. A friend told me a story of someone who was
recently offended, much greater than I (not that we're counting). She
told me about how this person is overlooking the offense and how they
are even reaching out to repair the damaged friendship. I've also begun
to notice, more than usual, instances where others are forgiving or
being forgiven. Last night, I found myself asking the Lord to clear my
heart of bitterness. I was asking for it with out even thinking. I did
not will myself to ask, nor had I given the situation much thought at
all yesterday. As I wrote down my thoughts and feelings in my journal,
asking the Lord to help me, my mind was flooded with realization of His
goodness. As I wrote, I remembered the love of my Savior for me. Love
so great that He died, a horrific, painful, death. He did it absolutely
selflessly, not just for me, but for the entire world. When I thought
about how angry I became over this one instance...when I was perturbed,
put off, aggravated...I felt a little silly, and it made it easier for
me to forgive and move on. I'm not quite there, yet, but I am closer
now than I was yesterday.

Thank you Lord, for blessing me. Thank you for helping me forgive, not
just because "it's the right thing to do" or because "the Bible says so"
but because you are the greatest example, and you did it! I pray that
you would bless the girls reading this. Girls who I care about. Girls
I love. Girls I don't even know. You know them, Lord, and you love
them. I pray that you would reveal bitterness in our hearts...stored up
anger - muck - that keeps us from fully focusing on you. Then let us
forgive and feel freedom from the oppression of that sin! Thank you,
Lord!

Going green,
-Andrea

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