GREEN-LIGHT revolution

God has blessed me with a huge second chance: He has given me the opportunity to enjoy a second season of singleness with Him.

As I previously mentioned, it has been two plus years that I've been steadily and consecutively single while pursuing God. In a very painful past, all of my "relating abilities" were severely crippled at one time or another. Some were buried and hidden underneath the hard exterior I was beginning to take on, others were crushed to a point beyond recognition.

I knew something was wrong with me and my relationships, and getting worse... but I wasn't keenly aware of my issues because I had no community (aka relationships) in which to see a clear reflection of myself. I wasn't engaged in many friendships period, and a good deal of those I was engaged in were only detrimental to my mental, emotional and ultimately spiritual well being. In other words, they were pulling me away from God, not pushing me towards Him. In general, I was becoming more and more isolated--Satan's #1 goal.

But God, out of His amazing mercy and love, transplanted me into part of His community here in STL. There were multiple times I almost left this blessing of His behind, as things like selflessness & accountability were completely unappealing to me. Yet, I felt Him gently asking me to stay, and by His grace, that's exactly what I did. He likewise, kindly pushed me into the deep end (relationally speaking) and helped me to swim, knowing all along I would absolutely love His community! It is true when I testify that His perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18).

Lately God's been putting the "icing on the cake" in regards to my relationships within community... and that would be learning "how to be a sister" to all of my wonderful brothers.

My first instinct was to quickly retreat from any relating period regarding the opposite sex, which is perhaps exactly what the Dr. ordered. But it quickly came clear that I couldn't stay put, as I found insecurities & wrong assumptions running rampant in the presence of brothers.

So what does it mean now to say, "Love ya like a sister, bro!" Ha... just when you thought I had the ultimate answer! ...or maybe you didn't, but guess what? I'm still learning! Here's what I've picked up so far:

• it means my identity rests in Christ, and not in you or your reactions, brother
• it means my security rests in Christ, and not in the amount of attention or affection you give me, brother
• it means my heart motivations in regards to you are pure, brother
  
• it means I can be generous in giving sisterly affection & encouragement, having a pure heart before God
• my security in Christ allows me to enjoy the protection and support you provide to the sisters you love, brother

To be continued... but as for sisterhood in Christ:

Going Green!!
bek