Surprise! Amie here. I'm back with another guest blogger! This lady friend is someone I get the privilege of spending almost everyday with. Today she offered to write for us, and now I have the honor of presenting to you a part of her life that's deeply impacted my own...
Hello! I'm Samantha. I'm 33 years old and live in St. Louis. Do you know who Saul is? I really don't want to marry "Saul".
As a kid, all I wanted was to be was a wife and mother. I was convinced I'd be married by the time I was 18. I believed that right up to my 19th birthday. Optimistically, I thought marriage would come at 19. Then I turned 20. I wasn't holding onto this idea because guys were lined up and I couldn't choose. Far from it! Marriage was such a strong desire in my heart that I knew it HAD to happen. After all, it was happening for everyone else. I watched a long line of friends pair up with wonderful people and get married. Being single became even harder when I started babysitting the kids of people I once babysat.
I eventually had enough. Being married was all I wanted and everyone else seemed to be falling into it effortlessly while I just watched. Not anymore. I started thinking about how I could lure a man into a relationship. I started lowering my standards and begging God to fulfill this persistent craving that was consuming me.
The Bible has a story about Israel begging God for a king. Until that time, they'd been ruled by God, through judges and prophets - unlike any other nation - and it testified that God was their King. However, they looked at nations around them and saw tangible, human kings. They rejected God and asked for what everybody else had. God granted their request, but warned them that this king would be something they would regret. He (Saul) would make their children slaves and steal the best of their belongings. In the end, they would beg to be free from him. But despite all God's warnings, Israel wanted their king. (1 Samuel 8 - paraphrase)
Oh no!: this was what I was doing. I'd decided God's plan and timing were not good enough for me. I wanted what everyone else had and was willing to pester God until He "gave in". Thankfully, God helped me listen to His warning. He showed me that it wasn't about learning to wait, or learning to trust He had the best for me. It's actually about learning that HE is the best. He is everything I need and more than I can dream of. He satisfies all my deepest desires and loves me like no one else can.
I don't want Saul; I want God. And I trust that, as I follow Him, my relationships will be far from regrettable because they're His will and not mine.
Going Green!
Samantha Bryan
November 14, 2009 at 12:46 AM
i think i've read this story a handful of times already! i need to go to bed... but i'm so in awe right now of our King! thank you for sharing. ...i luv how you worded that it's not about learning to wait, or learning to trust that He has the best for us, but only that He is the best. excellent!
November 16, 2009 at 12:43 PM
Sam, this is excellent!! Great stuff, thank you for sharing!