Hey guys,
Sorry for the random posts and then deletes.God has been stirring my heart a lot lately about miscommunication, relational breakdown, and struggles that get worse because people just don’t talk.
I wanted to promote discussion about sex and get people talking for once, but I realize that the purpose of this blog is actually to just share where we are at in a hope to encourage others and honor God and recognize what He is doing in our lives.
So again, sorry if you found my previous posts unhelpful. If you did read them, as I wrote, those were just my irks, frustrations and personal experience with miscommunications between the sexes . Not anything more than ramblings of an incomplete idiot.
Well,what has God been teaching me? In the past few months, through a variety of channels, the topic of dating keeps coming up. Now personally, I am a twenty-five year old Christian woman who has not dated anyone for some time, but really I enjoy my singleness. Yes, I desire to me married and have a family, but I also LOVE LOVE LOVE all the opportunities I have because I am not dating someone.
That said, the topic of dating keeps coming up in conversation. The topic of sex and sexual sin and how that relates to singleness keeps coming up. One thing that I can’t wrap my mind around is in a healthy Christian marriage sex in some aspect or another could hypothetically be an everyday occurrence. As a single woman, I suppress and often don’t know what to do with my sexual desires….so how do these two worlds go together? How will I one day transition from one to the other? I really don’t know…
I don’t know why this topic is on my heart…but it has been really helpful to talk about it. I often wish it were a more prevalent conversation between the sexes and between my married and single friends. But sex is awkward to talk about…wish it wasn’t, but it often is. Why is dating awkward? Or full of pressure? Again, sometimes I just wish as guys and girls we could be open and honest with one another and hear each other for what we have to say. I would definitely appreciate the insight!
What I do know is God is good! And that He give wisdom in abundance to anyone who asks, (James). So that is what I will continue to do. Ask for wisdom and trust that I will find what I’m looking for in God’s timing not mine!
Going green people,
Cath
June 11, 2010 at 3:12 PM
Hey, Cathy!
I know what you mean...I often process things through writing and end up doing some rambling of my own. :) I thought it was interesting that you were hoping for more conversations between genders about sex so that each gender could better understand where the other was coming from. For myself, I'm not sure I need to know how guys in general think about sex. I would want to know how my husband thinks about it. His perspective would be interesting and important to me. But I'm really not interested in how any other guy views sex, and I think conversations about sex with guys I'm not married to are probably unnecessary...possibly unhelpful. I have found it helpful to talk with close girl friends about this topic, especially close married girl friends. They know what it's like to transition from celibate single to married-and-living-it-up.
I might be naive, but I don't anticipate the shift in thinking, from "sex is not for me right now" to "let's get it on," being very difficult. Just like the transition from fasting to eating is not that difficult. We are restraining ourselves for a time, not because the object of our desires is bad, but because the object of our deepest desire, Jesus, is good and able to satisfy us completely. At the end of a fast, I don't have to psychologically prepare myself to eat. I can't wait to dig in! Food looks good, smells good, and tastes better after the long wait.
I also think that restraining your sexual desires is not something that only single people have to do--married couples have to restrain themselves, too. They have to resist feelings of attraction to people other than their spouses. They have to cut off sexual thoughts about people other than their spouses. And what if the person you are married to is tired or sick or just not in the mood? Married people have to control their desires then, too.
So really, I think that mastering our desires so that we can enjoy them in the right context is something single and married people have to do.
Sorry to leave such a lengthy comment! It's been a busy week, and I've been thinking about what you wrote, Cathy, I just haven't had a chance to respond until today. What do the other girls think?