GREEN-LIGHT revolution

Real Housewife #2: Linda Clements

Age: 46

Three Things We Should Know About You:

1. I'll be married 23 years in July, to Kevin whom I love deeply.
2. Kevin and I have two sons who I am over-the-moon crazy nuts about.
3. I love to make art, and I love to listen to music.

• I fell in love with Jesus when He pursued and captured my heart. Because of this, I learned to love to worship Him, read the bible, and hang out with His people.
• I surrounded myself (actually, God did this) with amazing women who were authentic and real and loved me well, and in turn, I learned to love them back. Actually, I am still learning this. I've been "loved on" amazingly well and beautifully by wonderful godly women who are passionate about Jesus. I really can't believe how God has blessed me in this area. He's really good and faithful to me.
• I learned to not let everyone I know have a strong voice into my life. I have a close counsel of people whom I trust, and I know they really want to see me grow in my relationship with God regardless of what it might cost me or them. They are honest with lots of love and grace. They cheer me on! Yay for them! May God bless them abundantly!! Different people over the years have spoken such rich truth to me about my walk with Jesus, my marriage, my parenting, and my friendships.
• I learned that it truly is in giving to all men that we receive. Serving is key to much in life.
• I know this might surprise you…it surprised me...but....drum roll, please....I really don't know everything. In fact, I know very little - I need God and God's people. Still learning this one...
  

• Men need to be respected. Women want to be treasured, and men need to have genuine, real, authentic respect. Women don't always know how to deliver respect like men need it.
• People often talk about how women are complicated and men are simple. It isn't true. Men are very complex.
  
• Men don't always multi-task well (some do, though). Women often do. We tend to think men do, too. We rattle off our shopping list to them and they are immediately overwhelmed and it frustrates us both. They are frustrated by the immensity and amount to do, and we can be frustrated that we can't share vocally our load of things to do...and then we women feel like it's all up to us to make things happen and get things done. In reality, men are more than willing to share in the load (man! sometimes they even take the whole overwhelming load). They just don't want to hear the whole boatload all at one time. Learning to only share one thing at a time is helpful.

Oh wait! This said one thing...I'll stop here. :-)

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

My husband likes me to be beside him sharing in most of what we do in the church or otherwise. This means I try to structure my life so that I am available to do that. I have been a stay-at-home mom for all our sons’ lives up to this point. I encourage him in what God has called him and our family in. First and foremost, I stay focused on my own relationship with God first. We have an understanding that God is the single most important relationship any of us has in this life...so, God is always first...above our relationship with each other. I personally don't always do this well, and when I don't put God first, all other areas of my life are affected.

4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

The single women I know are so smart! I appreciate how they love God so passionately. I appreciate how they are so honest and vulnerable with their struggles with their friends. I appreciate the passion in how they live their lives out...both the struggles and the celebrations. The single women I know and admire love God first, are funny, intelligent, have a zest for life, have so much fun with their friends, are just as comfortable in sweats at the gym as they are in a party dress and dancing their feet off! The single moms I know parent and love their children so well that it blesses and encourages me. All my single ladies are amazing and wonderful and beautiful, and they are deeply loved by me.

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

• Don't take the small stuff so serious. Laugh more.
• Wait on God. He is always faithful.
• Treasure your girlfriends. Go the extra mile even when it's tough.
• Read your Bible more.
• Don't waste time on guys who aren't passionate about God.
• Don't be stupid with finances. Be a good steward with the money God has entrusted to you.
• Embrace the journey God has you on..."Joy for the Journey."
• Whose idea was it to wear those huge shoulder pads in our clothes during the 80's?! I think I would try not to have faux football player shoulders. Many other fashion yucka ducka doos!
• Enjoy the moment. Savor it. Don't always be looking forward. I promise you...you will really miss out and you will miss the things God has for you in the now. Rest in the knowledge that God has a plan for your life, plans for good and not evil, plans to give you a future and a hope.

This week, I will be sharing interviews with several of these women. While there are many single ladies I love and admire, I wanted to interview married women specifically for this series. The women I will introduce to you this week have lived for God wholeheartedly; first as single ladies, then as wives and mothers. I am confident you will also be blessed by hearing from them.

Going green!

Lynn Fleshman

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1. In my former life, before marriage and having children, I loved to rock climb. (For those of you who are familiar with the sport: I was a trad climber, and red-pointed a few 5.10's.) For the rest of you, I know that means nothing. It feels like that was a lifetime ago.
2. I love to do scientific (and not so scientific) research. I am blessed to have a twin sister who has really been a forerunner in healthy eating (and in many other areas) for me and so this is a main area of interest in my research, but I do spend free time looking into lots of different topics. Most of my friends giggle (or secretly roll their eyes) when I start yet another conversation with this phrase: "I was reading a really interesting study the other day...."
3. I will have been married for 10 years in May, and I have one of those amazing husbands who is easy to love and like! We have four beautiful children: three dudes and one little lady.

1. What are some of the habits you cultivated during your single years that have helped you as a married woman?

Reading the Bible. Confessing sin. Listening for God's voice and being obedient, even when it hurt in the short-term. I also spent a lot of time worshiping alone in my dorm room (usually along with Waterdeep or Sonic Flood). I tried to be purposeful in taking my problems to God first, instead of seeking out the advice of my girlfriends or mentors immediately and emotionally. I met with women regularly to give an account of myself. I still think about this time and thank God for the women who took the time to invest in me.

2. What's one thing you have learned about men that you didn't know before you were married?

This may not be true of all men, but I have learned that it really is what is on the inside of a woman that counts. Sure, my husband thinks I am pretty, and in fact, he says that I was his "dream girl." However, I have found that compliments abound when I am seeking God's face, and being beautiful on the inside. This brings great joy to both of our hearts. I really did not believe this could be true of a man before I was married.

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

Well, if you mean the nitty gritty of it all, here goes: on a typical day it includes taking care of his physical needs and those of our children. Taking care of our home. Touching base with him occasionally through the day to see how I can pray for him or encourage him while he is working. It means setting my agenda according to his agenda. It also means helping him by having a loving, kind, and non-critical attitude toward him and the children throughout the day. I am not very good at this, but God is helping me!

4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

Honestly, in this season, it is easy to first say that I appreciate their HELP! It is a humbling situation for me. I have a solid handful of single girl friends who are willing to watch my kids even when it is not convenient for them, pick up things at the store for me, serve on teams I lead even when I forget to ask them until the night before (you know who you are). These women give our family their time and attention and energy, and I am SO thankful for their selfless love. I seriously would not be the woman I am without them. I feel silly for listing their help first, because there are so many other things I value about their friendships, like their zeal for following God, their desire to be submitted and to make themselves accountable, and their willingness to encourage and correct me when I need it!

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

I think I would have lots of questions for myself and they might go something like this:

• "Kari, why are you spending so much of your time and money on your personal entertainment? Rock climbing and mountain biking are great, but what and who are you worshiping? You are sending a mixed signal to your non-Christian friends."
• "Why do you have so many ‘close’ friends who are guys? These are not relationships you will be able to keep."
• "Who are you serving today? Are you practicing being selfless? Marriage will require this."
• "You have more influence than you realize. How are you using this influence?

Gender: Girls
Origin: Singleness
Meaning: Yes
Pronunciation: (Green Lahyt Rev-uh-loo-shuhn)
Form of: Jesus Christ
Rating: ★★★★★

Our hope is that through our testimonies and the recognition of the life Jesus Christ offers, you will find yourself inspired, encouraged, and released by His Spirit into the overwhelming victory and love that our Father has had in store for you.