GREEN-LIGHT revolution

I know this isn’t the case for many of you, but for me growing up in the Church, I heard a lot about God’s love. For most of my life, I could say “Yes, I know God loves me, God accepts me, He thinks I’m beautiful, etc…” It’s always been a struggle for me to move that “head knowledge” down to my heart, to make it really sink in.

I think about how much it would hurt for me to tell a man that I love him, and for him to just say he knows and not let it sink in or say it off-handely back. Then I realized I’ve done that countless times to God. The past month or so I’ve been talking that through with God, and to my surprise this is what He said: “Martha, say you love me.” At first I didn’t quite get it, why God wanted so badly for me to tell Him, but I did, and as I kept doing so, I found myself getting a much bigger understanding of His love towards me! He wanted me to become awakened to His love, and the fact of the matter is, He has already put love in each of us for Him, but sometimes we need to express it back to Him.

I write this as something I am very currently learning, not something I feel like I’ve grasped at all. I’ve come to understand that I can’t blow off His love towards me or think I understand it, because it will affect all other loves. I can’t fully love the poor and the lost if I don’t understand God’s love towards me that rescued me while I was lost. I will never be able to believe, accept, and become awakened to my future husband’s love towards me if I don’t fully believe, accept and become awakened to God’s love towards me. I can’t marvel, bask, and be secure in my husband telling me I am beautiful and captivating to him if I don’t marvel, bask, and be secure at being beautiful to God. I can’t serve my friends and those close to me if I don’t see all the ways that God serves me. It is SUCH an easy thing to say “Yes, I know, let’s move on” when it comes to the seemingly common subject of God’s love, but I’m realizing how much that attitude holds me back.

For some of you, God’s intimate love is a very fresh, new, and exciting thing. For other women who have been walking with Him for awhile now, it can seem stale. I’ve come to learn for me the best way to re-awaken this concept is to start consistently start telling Him you love Him. I’ve found that telling Him every single day, expressing it like I would to a person that I love deeply why I love Him, what I love about Him, what loving Him does to my life, actually makes me have a greater re-awakening to His love towards me! So start telling Him you love Him….and see if He starts making your heart beat just a little faster!

Going green!
Martha

Hey everyone! I am writing this entry from sunny Cape Town, South Africa! Two months ago God called me to this very very far away place, a desire He had put in as for a little girl. The last two months have had some very high highs and very low lows, and in it God is teaching me a lot.

A few weeks ago I was reading in my Bible and the word “vows” just kept popping out to me in the psalms, and I just had to ask God why this was..
- Psalm 76:11 says, “Make vows to the Lord your God and fulfill them…”
-Psalm 66: 13:” I will come to Your temple with burnt offerings and fulfill vows my lips promised to you…”
-Psalm 61:5: “For you have heard my vows, O God..”
- Psalm 56:12: “I am under vows to you, O God; I will present my thank offerings to you.”

As single women, lots of us have thought about the day when we make vows to our future husband, when we come under those vows and promise to fulfill them by loving, serving, and respecting our spouse. I loved Andrea’s post a few weeks ago about not missing our own wedding, and I think about what one must feel when entering a marriage. There is a desire and a joy about entering into that covenant, but I guess that theres also some curiosity and maybe a little apprehension about what their marriage will look like and what they will find in that season of life.

I began to think about “vows” that I’m currently under in my relationship with God. The main one that came to mind was my time here in South Africa. God set this time apart for me to be here, and I knew I had to go—I needed to fulfill this vow He had placed over me. He told me I would go, and I told Him I would obey. Desire and joy were present, but also fear of the unknown and leaving all I was familiar with. I’ve come to realize that God puts desires and giftings in all of us that He wants us to vow back to Him, to promise to fulfill. He wants to be under vows with us, to have that commitment, that intention, and to enter into those vows and see what He has for us in that. Like Andrea said, we don’t have to wait for an earthly wedding to be under vows. It’s given me a tremendous peace, awe, and intimacy as I’ve walked around the streets of Cape Town, just whispering to God that I am fulfilling vows to Him!

What are some vows in your life? What are promises, desires, and giftings God has put in you that maybe He wants you to utter into commitment back to Him, to come under vows to put those promises into action and see what adventure and intimacy He has in store for the two of you? If you aren’t certain, I’d encourage you to just ask Him-I’ve become convinced because of these scriptures that He is more than willing to show you!

Going green!
Martha

I love this blog! I am blessed to know many of you and share this connection. Thank you for being some of the most encouraging, inspiring, and wise single ladies I know.

In the past weeks, I've realized that it is not only single women who read or contribute to this blog - I just wanted to point that out. A married woman just told me yesterday, for example, that she receives encouragement and insight from Greenlight.

On a different note, I'd like to share something that God has not been subtle about teaching me:

A little bit is ok. Your best effort is pleasing to Him.

You do not have to embark on an adventure, get married by the time you're 19, 23, or 25, or land a dream job, becoming a huge financial success upon graduation.

We live life one day at a time, taking one step at a time, making one decision at a time.

I pray that each decisions we make is directed by God. As your decisions are directed by Him, your steps will follow His path. (Proverbs 3:5-6) Each day that He gives you, dedicate to Him. This life is fleeting! His kingdom is eternal. This life pails in comparison - know this! Marriage and children, money and new cars and dream homes pail in comparison to the eternal pleasure of spending eternity with Christ and His Father. Was that last sentence a bit redundant? It is true!!! Abide in Him. Trust Him to carry you. Do not feel blue, like I've been known to do, when you feel like you're not accomplishing enough or your friends are all moving ahead and you're sitting still. Trust Him. He is good! He wants to give you good things! (Matthew 7:11) See the ESV Scriptures, below.

Going Green!

-Andrea

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

Also have a look at John 15, especially verses 4 and 7.

Finally, Matthew 7:11 "If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"

Monday I posted the song lyrics for "More Beautiful You" by Jonny Diaz. The reason I posted it is actually quite funny. So here's the story...

I was sitting in my parents kitchen, just thinking what I should blog about. As I looked around the room I realized many young guys from the church we're around, and I wondered what they would blog about... hmmm? So I asked them "What should I blog about, it's suppose to be directed towards christian single ladies?" The first thing one of the guys said was "well that song more beautiful you, could really speak to those girls." So I looked up the song and read the lyrics and just thought about how these guys wanted us girls to grasp this concept of being beautiful as we are. It just seemed to impact me more when it was coming from these guys who love Jesus. Rather than if it were coming from my mom or sister, but a brother.

Sometimes as girls we seek attention from guys, which can very easily turn into negative attention. The reason I bring that up is because I've noticed in my church how the single guys in our church are very good at being brotherly to the single girls in the church. And it shows immensely in us girls. We know we can trust them to be our brothers. Even though us girls need to make sure to look at them as brothers since they are looking at us as sisters, sometimes it can be easy to forget.

My brothers have played a big part in my life. They we're quick to give compliments and also to tell us to put more clothes on : ) I appreciate my brothers so much and I realize it when I see other guys being brothers to all those other single girls who need it... thanks brothers.



Going Green!

Kenzie

Little girl fourteen flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

Going Green!

Kenzie

Happy Saturday, everyone! Today, I'm posting the final interview in this series, featuring a dear friend of mine, Abby Clevenger. Just to recap, here are links to the previous episodes:

Real Housewife #1, Kari Nevins
Real Housewife #2, Linda Clements
Real Housewife #3, Penny Brown
Real Housewife #4, Mary Chambers
Real Housewife #5, Chris Johnson
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Name: Abby Clevenger
Age: 28
Three Things We Should Know About You:

1. I have an amazing husband and 2 silly kids that make me laugh way too much.
2. I love to make things and be creative.
3. I studied Fashion in school.

1. What are some of the habits you cultivated during your single years that have helped you as a married woman?

Hmmm... this is a hard one for me, since I was just a kid when I got married! I was 19 years old, so I'm not sure I cultivated many habits that helped me as a married woman at that time! However, I learned to pray, trust God, and look to Him for my needs- this has been very helpful!

2. What's one thing you have learned about men that you didn't know before you were married?

I feel I've learned many things about men that I didn't know, and I know there's still a lot to be learned! Men need to be respected, loved, praised, supported, and admired. Men want to know they are taking care of their wife. I've learned that my husband desires me to have a strong, growing relationship with God, and that he wants me to look to God for my needs. I've learned that my husband likes me to take care of our home and he likes to eat good food!

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

Opening our home and being hospitable is one way I serve as my husband's helper. Being flexible, giving encouragement, and helping him with daily tasks. Being submissive, a good listener, and keeping things around the house calm and put together are also things I try to do. Most importantly, as his helper, I pray for him a lot!

4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

We are really blessed in Joplin, and we have a lot of great single girls! I love the way they serve the Church and the community that they build. I appreciate their interest in my kids and for being willing to help me when I need help. I love their zeal for God and their desire to learn.

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

I think I'd tell myself to use my time more wisely, work on not being selfish, and make habits of spending time in the Word, praying, and reaching out to people. I think I'd tell myself to invest in someone younger than myself and not to obsess with who I was going to marry or date. I'd also tell myself to find someone older to look to and mentor me.

Back then, I wish I knew that it was ok to go to respected people with my problems. That I didn't have to take care of everything myself, but that it was good to confide in people.

Meet Chris Johnson, Real Housewife #5! She's one of my favorite ladies at CCOJ and makes a point of investing in lots of single women at our church. Here is my interview with Chris....

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Name: Chris Johnson
Age: 43
Three Things You Should Know About Me:

1. I am blessed beyond belief! God brought me a husband who is better to me than I deserve & four beautiful, precious daughters. I am a 'country girl' at heart through & through!
2. I love people; it's very easy for me to open my heart to others in a way that can make me feel very protective of them...rather 'mother hennish'! : / It was quite surprising for me one day when my older daughters and some friends decided to count up the number of people that I had 'adopted as my own.' There were more than I expected there to be.
3. I love babies of all kinds, but especially the human variety! Some have nicknamed me 'the baby snatcher'! Uh-oh! Whether this is good or bad, I'm not sure...but I know it's true. : )

1. What are some of the habits you cultivated during your single years that have helped you as a married woman?

I wasn't raised in a home that placed importance on church-life or the things of God. Dave (my wonderful hubby) and I started dating when I was 17 and were married a few days after my 19th birthday. He was raised in a wonderful Christian home where he had wonderful examples of laying your life down for sake of the kingdom. I neglected to learn and to cultivate good habits as a single person, but God so graciously sent to me someone who patiently, gently, and lovingly taught me these things through his own example. I am such a lucky lady!

2. What's one thing you have learned about men that you didn't know before you were married?

I like to jokingly say, "men are predictable...not to be mistaken for easy to understand!" : ) Seriously though, men (the ones which God has placed in authority in your life) deserve your respect. They are NOT required to earn it. I know that not all of you will agree with me on this one. I also know that this isn't always easy, because we don't always agree with our husband's (or our leader's) decisions. And some of those decisions will not always be right ones. And that is OK. God has given them permission to have authority and to lead us and even to make mistakes in the process. Men thrive on having unconditional respect. They need it like we need to feel loved & cherished.

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

My role as Dave's helper looks different at different times. I can (& do) have a picture in my head as to what that role should look like. But, that is not for me to decide. It is my husband's job. Dave likes for me to take care of the physical needs of our household; his needs and the everyday aspect of the training of our daughters. He wants us and our home to be open and hospitable to those around us, as well as a haven for the hurting and weary. I try to be supportive of Dave and what is important to him. So, I'm a huge fan of the Cardinals, bluegrass, biscuits & gravy, Nascar, cheese dip, and beer! Uh-hum, ok...I'm actually not a big fan of several of those things.
; )
4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

There are SO MANY things I appreciate about the single women God has so graciously brought into my life and heart! (Several of them aren't single anymore though, but I'm still incredibly blessed by them.) : ) First of all, I'm consistently humbled by their passion and zeal for God and His church. And by their level of Christian maturity for their age! WOW! Anytime I hear people speaking badly of this generation, I am so eager and pleased to brag on the young adults I have been blessed to be around! One thing, though, that always blesses me is when I hear some of these young adults expressing their need for the wisdom and life experiences of older adults. (Yet, another sign of their spiritual maturity!) All of 'my girls' are amazing!!

5. If you could travel back in time & talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

This last question has probably been the most difficult one for me to answer. Parts of my childhood years weren't easy ones and over the years, I've discovered that it's not helpful for me to spend much time looking backwards with regrets and wishes of things being different. But, it is a good question, so I'll give it my best shot...I would say to myself:

• Even though you may not have control over some things that make your life difficult...You do have control of how you will react/respond to those things.
• With or without parental leading...you can draw close to God.
• With or without a consistent church-life...you can draw close to God.
• In easy times & hard times...you must draw close to God.

Welcome to Episode 4 in this season of "Real Housewives of Joplin, MO!" Today, I will introduce you to one of my favorite housewives of all time, Mary Chambers. Follow the links below to catch up on what you've missed:

Episode 1: Kari Nevins
Episode 2: Linda Clements
Episode 3: Penny Brown

And coming soon....Real Housewives 5 (Chris Johnson) & 6 (Abby Clevenger)!

Going green!

Lynn Fleshman
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Name: Mary Chambers
Age: 50
Three Things We Should Know About You:

1. I have been married for almost 32 years to the guy I have had a crush on since I was 14. I still think he is the most fascinating man I have ever met.
2. We have seven children. Yes, we know what causes that.
3. I was a commercial artist/illustrator for 25+ years. I even won a few awards. I grew weary of editors and deadlines and took a short break I haven’t returned from yet. Maybe I’ll go back when it doesn’t feel like work anymore.

1. What are some of the habits you cultivated during your single years that have helped you as a married woman?

Well, I didn’t have that many single years ( I married at 18) and many of the habits I cultivated were not all that helpful. I did, however practice frugality and learned to be handy about the house. I can stretch a dollar till it comes back around the other side and I can cook, sew, saw and tinker. My basement, garage and sometimes kitchen counter look like a torture chamber for treacherous furniture and recalcitrant appliances. They fear me. I employ the rack, screws, drills, and duct tape.

2. What's one thing you have learned about men that you didn't know before you were married?

I had four brothers and no sisters. I have probably learned more about women since I’ve been married. (I learned I was one!) I have learned that men can be as reluctant to lead as we are to submit and it is wrong to step in where God has not given you authority-even if you are invited or allowed.

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

It’s really pretty simple. I find out what he’s doing and then I try to help. Sometimes he needs me to cook, clean, and play hostess, sometimes he needs me to shovel dirt . Sometimes he needs me to mother his children and sometimes to cut it out and think of no one but him. There are times he needs me to just listen to him and times he needs me to talk. He always needs me to honor him and his headship with my words, dress and behavior, to submit to him, and most of all to pray for him! This may seem overly simplified but it is not that intuitive. My own nature is to try to help him do what I want or to insert my own agenda in ways that aren’t that helpful . (To better understand what that looks like, try asking, what does the role of the church look like as she serves her Husband? Do you think she ever wears herself out doing things He doesn’t want her to do and then feels pitiful because her work isn’t appreciated and rewarded?) Do you think the church is to serve Christ or to be ‘fulfilled’ and have her own needs met? How is that supposed to work?)

4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

I appreciate any woman who is contentedly and whole-heartedly serving Jesus. A discontented woman is a danger to herself and those around her. Paul says that those who are single are free to pursue God without having to first consider a husband and children. This often places them better to encourage and minister to me in ways that my married friends can’t. They truly are less bound and those that use that freedom to go for God are my supply line to a place I don’t get to as often as I’d like. If you had limited transportation but had friends that traveled frequently to different shops, who would you appreciate more—those who brought you things from farmer’s markets, pharmacies, and the grocery store or those who mainly shopped at Victoria’s Secret or Mr. Bulky’s?

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

I wish I had spent more time pursuing God instead of Tim! God was literally dying to be in a committed, lifetime relationship with me and wanted to be found. Tim just ran out of places to hide. I do believe that God rewards those who seek His kingdom first with good things. I choose to believe that I am one of those good things that God gave Tim while he was seeking God.

Hi, everyone! In case you're just tuning in, this week on the blog, we are featuring interviews with married women from my church family,CCOJ. Below, you will find an interview with Real Housewife #3, Penny Brown. If you'd like to read the other interviews posted this week, click here for Housewife #1 (Kari Nevins) and click here for Housewife #2 (Linda Clements).

Going green!

Lynn
__________________________________________________________________

Name: Penny Brown
Age: 42
Three Things We Should Know About You:

1. I love Jesus.
2. I am married to Andy Brown and have been for 16 years. We have 4 kids, 2 boys, 2 girls. Joseph is 15, Levi is 13, Ashley is 12, and Rachel is 11.
3. I have a degree in art education, and I am currently home schooling my 4 kids.

1. What are some of the habits you cultivated during your single years that have helped you as a married woman?

I didn't develop as many helpful habits as I should have. I spent way too much time looking for a husband. I did spend much of my single years in school and learning new things. I lived at home with my family while in college and learned some things about serving others, not just myself. I gave myself to serving the church as a youth sponsor. I read my Bible and I spent some time learning to hear God's voice and trusting Him. I also met with older women and learned a lot from them. I also spent a summer in Panama, serving the church there, which helped me to see a bigger picture of the church worldwide.

2. What's one thing you have learned about men that you didn't know before you were married?

This is a difficult question as not all men are alike and I still have a lot to learn. I think I've learned that they need a lot of praise for what they do and respect for the roles they have.

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

In order for me to be a help to anyone I must first seek the face of God. I need His heart for them. This is my most important job as my husband's helper. It will manifest itself in all kinds of stuff. I make sure he eats well, take care of him when he is sick, encourage him when he needs it, etc. I pray for him a lot.

4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

When I was single I made a practice of seeking out older women, both married and single. I really appreciate the single ladies who do this in our church and the ones who still inspire me to pursue God like they do. I think single women have a huge opportunity to serve Jesus wholeheartedly. They are a comfort to me and are my very good friends.

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

I think I would tell myself to practice more obedience to God. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Tell more people about Jesus. Develop more personal disciplines. I think I should tell myself that now, too. I wish I would have known to take the extra time I had then and spend it worshiping, reading the Bible, and learning more about God. Trust God to send you the husband you want/need and don’t spend so much time trying to figure out which one is mine and where is he.

Today, we're continuing a series of interviews with several married women from my lovely church family at CCOJ. Without further ado, I give you.....Real Housewife #2!

Going green!

Lynn
_________________________________________________________________

Real Housewife #2: Linda Clements

Age: 46

Three Things We Should Know About You:

1. I'll be married 23 years in July, to Kevin whom I love deeply.
2. Kevin and I have two sons who I am over-the-moon crazy nuts about.
3. I love to make art, and I love to listen to music.

1. What are some of the habits you cultivated during your single years that have helped you as a married woman?

• I fell in love with Jesus when He pursued and captured my heart. Because of this, I learned to love to worship Him, read the bible, and hang out with His people.
• I surrounded myself (actually, God did this) with amazing women who were authentic and real and loved me well, and in turn, I learned to love them back. Actually, I am still learning this. I've been "loved on" amazingly well and beautifully by wonderful godly women who are passionate about Jesus. I really can't believe how God has blessed me in this area. He's really good and faithful to me.
• I learned to not let everyone I know have a strong voice into my life. I have a close counsel of people whom I trust, and I know they really want to see me grow in my relationship with God regardless of what it might cost me or them. They are honest with lots of love and grace. They cheer me on! Yay for them! May God bless them abundantly!! Different people over the years have spoken such rich truth to me about my walk with Jesus, my marriage, my parenting, and my friendships.
• I learned that it truly is in giving to all men that we receive. Serving is key to much in life.
• I know this might surprise you…it surprised me...but....drum roll, please....I really don't know everything. In fact, I know very little - I need God and God's people. Still learning this one...
  

2. What's one thing you have learned about men that you didn't know before you were married?

• Men need to be respected. Women want to be treasured, and men need to have genuine, real, authentic respect. Women don't always know how to deliver respect like men need it.
• People often talk about how women are complicated and men are simple. It isn't true. Men are very complex.
  
• Men don't always multi-task well (some do, though). Women often do. We tend to think men do, too. We rattle off our shopping list to them and they are immediately overwhelmed and it frustrates us both. They are frustrated by the immensity and amount to do, and we can be frustrated that we can't share vocally our load of things to do...and then we women feel like it's all up to us to make things happen and get things done. In reality, men are more than willing to share in the load (man! sometimes they even take the whole overwhelming load). They just don't want to hear the whole boatload all at one time. Learning to only share one thing at a time is helpful.

Oh wait! This said one thing...I'll stop here. :-)

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

My husband likes me to be beside him sharing in most of what we do in the church or otherwise. This means I try to structure my life so that I am available to do that. I have been a stay-at-home mom for all our sons’ lives up to this point. I encourage him in what God has called him and our family in. First and foremost, I stay focused on my own relationship with God first. We have an understanding that God is the single most important relationship any of us has in this life...so, God is always first...above our relationship with each other. I personally don't always do this well, and when I don't put God first, all other areas of my life are affected.

4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

The single women I know are so smart! I appreciate how they love God so passionately. I appreciate how they are so honest and vulnerable with their struggles with their friends. I appreciate the passion in how they live their lives out...both the struggles and the celebrations. The single women I know and admire love God first, are funny, intelligent, have a zest for life, have so much fun with their friends, are just as comfortable in sweats at the gym as they are in a party dress and dancing their feet off! The single moms I know parent and love their children so well that it blesses and encourages me. All my single ladies are amazing and wonderful and beautiful, and they are deeply loved by me.

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

• Don't take the small stuff so serious. Laugh more.
• Wait on God. He is always faithful.
• Treasure your girlfriends. Go the extra mile even when it's tough.
• Read your Bible more.
• Don't waste time on guys who aren't passionate about God.
• Don't be stupid with finances. Be a good steward with the money God has entrusted to you.
• Embrace the journey God has you on..."Joy for the Journey."
• Whose idea was it to wear those huge shoulder pads in our clothes during the 80's?! I think I would try not to have faux football player shoulders. Many other fashion yucka ducka doos!
• Enjoy the moment. Savor it. Don't always be looking forward. I promise you...you will really miss out and you will miss the things God has for you in the now. Rest in the knowledge that God has a plan for your life, plans for good and not evil, plans to give you a future and a hope.

As many of you know, I (Lynn) currently reside in the quiet little town of Joplin, MO. What you may not know is that Joplin is also home to some of the most beautiful, wealthiest, most talented and influential woman in the country. I am not sure why none of the cable networks have created a reality show based on their lives, but they are definitely the kind of women I want to watch and emulate. They are beautiful in their faith, rich in wisdom, talented in caring for their husbands and homes, and influential in God’s kingdom through the time and prayers they invest in others.

This week, I will be sharing interviews with several of these women. While there are many single ladies I love and admire, I wanted to interview married women specifically for this series. The women I will introduce to you this week have lived for God wholeheartedly; first as single ladies, then as wives and mothers. I am confident you will also be blessed by hearing from them.

Going green!

Lynn Fleshman

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Real Housewife # 1: Kari Nevins
Age: 30
Three Things We Should Know About You:

1. In my former life, before marriage and having children, I loved to rock climb. (For those of you who are familiar with the sport: I was a trad climber, and red-pointed a few 5.10's.) For the rest of you, I know that means nothing. It feels like that was a lifetime ago.
2. I love to do scientific (and not so scientific) research. I am blessed to have a twin sister who has really been a forerunner in healthy eating (and in many other areas) for me and so this is a main area of interest in my research, but I do spend free time looking into lots of different topics. Most of my friends giggle (or secretly roll their eyes) when I start yet another conversation with this phrase: "I was reading a really interesting study the other day...."
3. I will have been married for 10 years in May, and I have one of those amazing husbands who is easy to love and like! We have four beautiful children: three dudes and one little lady.

1. What are some of the habits you cultivated during your single years that have helped you as a married woman?

Reading the Bible. Confessing sin. Listening for God's voice and being obedient, even when it hurt in the short-term. I also spent a lot of time worshiping alone in my dorm room (usually along with Waterdeep or Sonic Flood). I tried to be purposeful in taking my problems to God first, instead of seeking out the advice of my girlfriends or mentors immediately and emotionally. I met with women regularly to give an account of myself. I still think about this time and thank God for the women who took the time to invest in me.

2. What's one thing you have learned about men that you didn't know before you were married?

This may not be true of all men, but I have learned that it really is what is on the inside of a woman that counts. Sure, my husband thinks I am pretty, and in fact, he says that I was his "dream girl." However, I have found that compliments abound when I am seeking God's face, and being beautiful on the inside. This brings great joy to both of our hearts. I really did not believe this could be true of a man before I was married.

3. What does your role as your husband's helper look like?

Well, if you mean the nitty gritty of it all, here goes: on a typical day it includes taking care of his physical needs and those of our children. Taking care of our home. Touching base with him occasionally through the day to see how I can pray for him or encourage him while he is working. It means setting my agenda according to his agenda. It also means helping him by having a loving, kind, and non-critical attitude toward him and the children throughout the day. I am not very good at this, but God is helping me!

4. What do you appreciate about the single women in your life?

Honestly, in this season, it is easy to first say that I appreciate their HELP! It is a humbling situation for me. I have a solid handful of single girl friends who are willing to watch my kids even when it is not convenient for them, pick up things at the store for me, serve on teams I lead even when I forget to ask them until the night before (you know who you are). These women give our family their time and attention and energy, and I am SO thankful for their selfless love. I seriously would not be the woman I am without them. I feel silly for listing their help first, because there are so many other things I value about their friendships, like their zeal for following God, their desire to be submitted and to make themselves accountable, and their willingness to encourage and correct me when I need it!

5. If you could travel back in time and talk to yourself during your single years, what would you say? What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

I think I would have lots of questions for myself and they might go something like this:

• "Kari, why are you spending so much of your time and money on your personal entertainment? Rock climbing and mountain biking are great, but what and who are you worshiping? You are sending a mixed signal to your non-Christian friends."
• "Why do you have so many ‘close’ friends who are guys? These are not relationships you will be able to keep."
• "Who are you serving today? Are you practicing being selfless? Marriage will require this."
• "You have more influence than you realize. How are you using this influence?

For those who have wondered why this blog was named GREEN-LIGHT revolution, here is our first attempt at breakin' it down blog-style...

Gender: Girls
Origin: Singleness
Meaning: Yes
Pronunciation: (Green Lahyt Rev-uh-loo-shuhn)
Form of: Jesus Christ
Rating: ★★★★★

when we say GREEN we think
ENERGY | growth | LIFE

when we say LIGHT we think
BURDEN-FREE | truth | VISIBILITY

when we say revolution we think
CHANGE | orbit | TURNING-POINT

when we say GREEN-LIGHT we think
GO | movement | UNRESERVED

when we say GREEN-LIGHT revolution we think
INSPIRATION | encouragement | RELEASE

Our hope is that through our testimonies and the recognition of the life Jesus Christ offers, you will find yourself inspired, encouraged, and released by His Spirit into the overwhelming victory and love that our Father has had in store for you.

Going green!
the authoresses of this crazy blog