GREEN-LIGHT revolution

Hi ladies! Happy Wednesday to you… or if you are reading this tomorrow, happy Thursday!

Hannah has been a lady on my heart for the past month. I love her and her story. Now, I know what you’re thinking… “Missy loves every Old Testament woman!” Haha, but seriously… Hannah is great. Before I would read her story, and although I appreciated her, I did not fully understand her heart. But lately God has really been showing me just how similar the two of us are. Hannah’s is a heart that most of us women can relate to. She has a safe home, is provided for, and has someone who loves her. But she also feels like there is a part of her that is incomplete. She is not able to have children. She knows her husband loves her, but there is just that one thing that is making her feel less than whole.

I started thinking of how this applied to me. I am not married, and don’t have children. But I do know that feeling of desire for something else to complete my life. I began reading over this particular verse:

Elkanah her husband would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” – 1 Samuel 1:8

I could hear the hurt in her husband’s voice. He was feeling like he was not enough for her. Could it be that this is exactly how God’s heart feels towards me every time I ignore him? I knew exactly what God was saying to my heart. “Missy, why are you crying? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I (your Heavenly Husband) mean more to you than an earthly husband?”

Like Hannah, I desire most the one thing I don’t have; when my Heavenly Husband should be my all. I don’t mean to say that Hannah’s desire for a son, or my desire for a husband is wrong; it just needs to be kept in its proper place of submission. God’s heart as our husband right now is jealous for us. He desires to spend all His time with us, and doesn’t want our heart’s affections to be divided and given to something (or someone) else. Someday He may allow an earthly man to come and share part of our affections, but God as our first husband shall always rein as King of our hearts.

But Hannah’s deeply honest prayer is not wrong; it is an act of submission.

“O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life…” – 1 Samuel 1: 11.

If and when God grants me the blessing of an earthly husband someday, this is how I want my prayer to be mirrored. Even though he will be my husband, he will always be God’s first and foremost. He will be like a gift from the Lord, and therefore rightly belonging to Him. I want to constantly be giving him back to the Lord, just like Hannah gives Samuel back to the Lord.

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over the LORD.”- 1 Samuel 1: 27.

I prayed for this man, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD…

Going green,
Missy

Oh Greenlight ladies, how I’ve missed you! So glad to all be back together in the blog world. :) For those who are new, I’m Missy. I’m a junior Literature major at MSSU in Joplin, and I work in the English and Philosophy department on campus. I love my job and the professors I work with. I’ve lived in this world for 21 years, have a HUGE imagination, and value deep true relationships with my brothers and sisters in Christ over anything.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what is real, and what isn’t real lately. Reality seems like such a blurry line sometimes.

Ok ladies, a moment of super real honesty… have you ever caught yourself having a conversation out loud with someone who is not actually there? The imagined conversation in my mind can seem so real, that I forget it’s not really happening. One time I was driving in my car, imaging a conversation I was having with someone. I imagined what they would say, and then what my response would be, and back and forth… etc. It became so real, that at one point I turned to the passenger seat and dramatically stated something out loud to them! That was the moment I knew I had gone crazy haha.

It is easy to recognize romantic thoughts as the catalyst for something make-believe. We are trained as women to take our romantic daydreams, or impure thoughts captive. But what about the anxious thoughts? Aren’t the worrisome and anxious thoughts make-believe as well? So often when I find myself going down that dreamy romantic path I quickly tell myself: “Whoa Missy, take every thought captive, including the one you are thinking right now.” But how come I don’t do this with negative worried thoughts too? Thoughts like: “What if this happened… or what if God doesn’t come through for me… or I should have a plan in case this happens…” Those are all thoughts that should be taken captive just as quickly as the romantic ones. Reality is not what might happen, or the conversation in my mind, or what I think the future will look like. Reality is what has already happened, and what is currently happening. A few days ago I sat down and made a list of what I knew to be truth, and what I knew to be lies. The end result all ciphered down to this: God is our Truth; He is our reality. The reality is that He laid in that grave for three days, but did not stay there. Reality is that He knows my needs before I even ask. Reality is that He will always, always, always come through for me.

“… we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5.

A girlfriend I had in high school shared with me one time the mental picture she got every time she read this verse. She would picture herself surrounded by white fluffy thought bubbles resembling sheep. She would get out a rope and form it into a lasso, and then one by one lasso each fluffy white thought bubble until all were captured. Then she would herd each thought into a pen just like sheep. Her thoughts were literally captured. I think about that image every time I read that verse now. Worrisome fearful thoughts should have no more free rein in my heart or mind than out of control romantic or impure thoughts. So I’m getting them in that pen!

Going green,
Missy.

Well ladies, this is finale of my relationship learning trilogy. I hope you have enjoyed it so far and that it has made sense to you.
This is the bit that I think keeps me in the best perspective.

I seem to be in the time of life when it seems like everyone I know is getting married, engaged, or finding boyfriends. Not gonna lie, it's been tough. I have felt as though my generation is passing me by into another stage of life that i can't relate to and I'm being left behind in the dust.

I became so caught up in where I thought my life should be that I made myself miserably discontent with where I was right then. I was so focused on other people's lives that I didn't stop to ask God what was right for me. When I finally was able to look beyond my "woe is me" attitude enough to stop and ask that question, I had the revelation that I am not ready for that stage. I am not in a place right now that I can give the time, effort, and emotion needed to be in a relationship with a man and make it work. It wouldn't be fair to him OR me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Guess what. Jesus has different plans for everyone at different stages in their life. Each individual is on a different timeline. I finally realized that I am not on the same path as my friends. God has given me different aspirations, dream, and callings. I believe that God has given me a heart for marriage one day. But I now know that it doesn't matter when my friends are moving on, because they are not me. God knows you inside and out, better than anyone else, even you! And he knows your future husband the same way. And only He knows when the time is right for both of you. When both he and you are in a place that you can do more for Jesus together than you can apart, THAT is when you'll come together. When you are both ready for it, Jesus with open both of your eyes and it'll be more amazing than you could imagine! Because Jesus knows better than People magazine what makes a relationship work.

When I can see it like that, a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. Singleness no longer seems like a burden. And it reminds me that this is an opportunity to make myself the best woman of God I can be. If my husband is out there growing in God and becoming a better man of God for me, then it makes me want to do all I can to be the best I can be for him. Lynn's post "A Need to Know Basis" was great! Now is the time to grow in Jesus, making the most of your single time.

"I adjure you, O Daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, do not stire up or awaken love until it pleases." Song of Songs 2:7 (ESV)

Because it is SO worth the wait!

Going green.
Jenny

In my last post, I discussed how being genuinely who you are makes a world of difference.

Today, I want to tell you what I've realized about worth. I've realized the real, genuine you deserves a Prince. Some of you probably just rolled your eyes at me, contemplated turning off your computer thinking, "Right! You don't know me!"

Well, I may not have had the priveledge to meet you and know who you really are, but here's what I do know. I know what it's like to think that the only ones who will ever be interested are the ones who are a step above complete trash. I know what it's like to give up on "Prince Charming", because "he could never be able to look past that." It's a terrifying and crippling thought that makes you want to throw in the towel and settle for "whatever I can get". WRONG!!!!!

I moved to St. Joe, MO about 3 years ago, and in moving here I've met and become very close with three brothers-in-Christ. These three men made a world of difference for me, teaching me some very important lessons about what kind of man I deserve. These brothers were there when I got a flat on a dark backroad at night and was freaking out; there when I needed to clear my head and didn't know who to go to; there to open the door for me; there to walk with me when the rest of the group walked ahead in a town I didn't know. These men are easily some of my best friends, and still are. They know me and RESPECT me flaws and all. They love me as a sister and are irreplaceable in my life.

They showed me that it's okay to set the bar high, because it IS reachable. For those of you skeptics: they are far from perfect and were definitely not at the top of their game 100% of the time. They are still human. ;) And NO they are not the only men like this in the universe. They taught me that I don't have to settle for garbage because I can be loved by someone who respects me, who is willing to go that extra mile every once in a while, who can prefer me and still put Jesus first, who genuinely cares about me without thought of gain, who doesn't need me to change for him.

My relationships with these men reinforced my relationship with Jesus, reminding me of who He really is and how he loves us.
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16 (NIV)
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8 (NIV)
This perfect man loves you with such a depth of love that He gave everything he had for EVERYTHING that you are (no ifs, ands, or buts) so that He could be with you forever, not just now but forever! Isn't that amazing?! That revelation floors me every time. Wow!

Knowing that, I don't need to know every detail of your life to know this:
YOU ARE WORTH IT! Don't settle for someone who just barely missed the trash. You are worth SO much more than that. Jesus loves YOU so much that He died for YOU so that he could be with YOU for eternity. If you're good enough for Jesus, you are good enough to deserve a man who can respect you as you are, the real you. Don't sell yourself short by changing who you truly are.

Going green.
Jenny

Whether or not you're new, I'm new as a Green Light writer. So, hello, my name is Jenny McCutchan and I am a junior Nursing student in St. Joseph, MO. I am currently involved with Living Hope Church here helping lead youth goup and our on-campus college group. I feel like I have no life outside of my classes but I am loving what I'm learning. It'll feel worth it when I graduate with my BSN. :)

As you all know, today is Valentine's Day, known to some as Singles Awareness Day. It's days like these, when my vision seems overwhelmed by the sight of couples, that it takes a conscious effort to be content in my singleness. I'd like to share with you some of the things I've learned about relationships through the next 3 posts (because apparently I'm long-winded, I've come to realize). Today's starts with the verse that has become my motto of my single life.

"I adjure you, O Daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases." Song of Songs 2:7 (ESV)

This verse can be comforting or really annoying depending on how you look at it, so let me explain. I've come to see that if you aren't okay with who you are as a single person, you will not be okay with who you are as a girlfriend or wife. Identity is much deeper than a relationship status on Facebook. I remember not that long ago that I couldn't tell you who I really was. I could tell you what parts of me I'd gleaned from friends, family, mentors, role models, whoever, but not me. I had tried to please other people so much I had excluded who I was. I could tell you what I didn't like or couldn't do well, but not anything I excelled in or enjoyed. I personally have not been in any "serious" romantic relationships. I had one "boyfriend" in the eighth grade. ;) But I have had my share of debilitating crushes. Though I never had the title, I have tried my best to be someone I thought he'd want me to be (whichever crush it was). Luckily, by the grace of God, it never worked.

Although I have had little to no personal experience with relationships, I have had plenty being the "go-to" girl when my friends needed help. And my heart ached right along with theirs, when I saw them get broken over and over again. Because they didn't know who they were without the "girlfriend" status. They didn't know who they were being single, without someone to please. It can so quickly become like Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride who doesn't even know what kind of eggs she likes because "I'll have what he's having."

Jesus created you just the way you are and He doesn't make mistakes. Don't sell yourself short by being someone else. I know that it's so much more freeing when you can relax in your own skin.

So, be comfortable being the beautiful single woman God made you to be today!

Going green.
Jenny

...myself?

How will the world (i.e. my neighbors, my co-workers, my classmates) ever come to know the testimony, power and good news of Jesus Christ in my life if I never take the step of introducing myself?

I've pondered this question in my mind and heart...

Do I need permission to introduce myself to other people? Oftentimes in situations where I'm surrounded by strangers, my soul is gripped with the "fear of man." Too many times I refrain from initiating conversation with others because I seem to feel I need their permission to introduce myself... "Go ahead Rebekah. I won't reject you or your story."

In reality, I only seek to accommodate my insecurity.

The truth is I'm already allowed, freed and secured by the blood of Jesus Christ, to share my story with the world: "For God has not given [me] a spirit of timidity (fear), but of power and love and discipline" (2 Timothy 1:7).

God's truth = perspective shift = attitude change: EXPECT me to introduce myself. Because I would love to hear your story world, and when the opportunity presents itself, I am secured in Christ to share my own.

Until next time... going green!
blogger bek

Hello, hello from GREEN-LIGHT Revolution! Blogger Bek here excited to be writing to you again!

My full name is Rebekah Kruvand. I am 26 years old, single and rocking it in the lovely city of St. Louis, MO. Recently I've entered into a relationship with an awesome man-of-God named Dillon Neely. A brother and friend in the Lord for the last 1.5 years who has humbly asked permission to pursue me. I've embarked on a new chapter relationally speaking, yet I still consider myself SINGLE.... single because until I'm married ladies, I'm SINGLE in heart and commitment before the Lord. That being said, I'm super excited --> new chapter, new challenges, new joys found in the Lord. Currently I belong to Jubilee Church (STL city) whose community I could not live without. I find myself more thankful for the love of Christ shown through the body of believers at Jubilee, everyday.

This week I've been pondering Matthew 5:37, "Let your statement be 'yes' or 'no'; anything beyond these is of evil."

"Yes" or "no" ...I find them to be simple words to say, but words whose meanings have had profound impacts on my life. To "grant permission" or "to deny" ...that has been the question.

I've discovered (by the grace of God) that I'm really good at saying "yes" to things... yes to people, yes to tasks, yes to making commitments... and not so good at saying "no." Matter of fact, I've gotten SO good at saying "yes," that I've come to question whether "no" still exists in my spoken vocabulary!

This week especially, I've realized that I am completely over-committed. It's been quite humbling, as I've been failing in the commitments I've made (i.e. things I've said "yes" to). I've forgotten to call people when I've said I would, I've had to request extensions on projects I've said I would complete, I've had to apologize for not being places I've said I'd be. I've realized that my "yes" has lost it's meaning. My word has become no good, because it does not mean to others what it's meant to.

God has been gracious enough to convict me about the need for balance in my life, the need to be able to say "no" once in awhile. When I'm over committed, when I've allowed my "yes" to become meaningless, everyone suffers.

The beauty of it all, is that through this process, I've received grace from God in the midst of failure. I've come to acknowledge and admit that I've indeed failed (something I've not been comfortable with for a good part of my life). I've come to make apology for doing so. I've come to humble myself before the Lord... and ya' know what? It's been INCREDIBLY FREEING! It's WONDERFUL to know that God finds perfection in Jesus Christ, not Rebekah Kruvand.

Until next time, let my spoken word be what it's meant to be: let my YES be YES!

Going green!
blogger bek

I had graduated college, was working full-time, and renting a place to live while I tried to figure out what was next. The way I saw it, I was at a fork in the road. If marriage was in God’s plan for me, that meant I would continue working, serving, and waiting for Future Husband to appear. But if lifetime singleness was the plan, I might as well make the most of it and do things that would be difficult for a married woman, who would have all the concerns of caring for a husband and family. I pictured myself as a Jackie Pullinger or an Amy Carmichael. I’d sell everything, move to some remote corner of the world, and care for the poor from my little grass hut.

As you can tell, my plans for the future were vastly different depending on the Lord’s answer to this question....which did not come right away. I think this was also the first decision about which I intentionally sought the Lord’s will. I had chosen a college, a major, a job, a place to live--all based on what I thought was best and what I preferred. I don’t remember praying about any of those decisions before making them. So here I was, truly asking God for direction for the first time about a major life decision and he didn’t have much to say.

I was sitting at a stop light on the drive home from work one day, and instead of asking God about marriage specifically, I asked him what he wanted me to do right now, at this time, in this place. Then he started talking. He wanted me to be a blessing in my work place, to devote myself to serving Christ’s Church, and to build strong, deep friendships. He wanted me to seek counsel from women who were older than me and to cultivate a submissive heart toward leaders. I could do all of those things single or married! It occurred to me that I did not need all the details about my future in order to obey God today.

As God’s children, we have the joy of learning how to seek and hear from him. I’m learning that he loves conversation, that my life is one long conversation with him and that I need to be okay with long pauses. He has kept hidden some of the answers to the big questions I’m asking. But it’s okay. By saying “Yes, Lord” to whatever he asks of me today, I am preparing to say “Yes, Lord” to whatever he has planned for the future.
Going green!Lynn

Hello, GREEN-LIGHT Readers!

This morning, I'm writing to you from my living room sofa. There is a cheery fire in the hearth and from my seat facing the window, I can marvel at the glittery, glorious 19 inches of snow that fell yesterday. My car, the streets, and the church parking lot are also buried under the aforementioned snow, so I will not be leaving the house today.

I picked out a favorite Elisabeth Elliot book from the shelf, and it reminded me of another jewel from this author. Many moons ago, I read a chapter in one of her books (I can't even remember which one) about developing a hunger for God. It's something I feel, but long to feel more strongly and consistently. I hunger to hunger! :)

In this chapter, she included a list of ten steps to increase a hunger for God, based on Psalm 63. I copied these steps onto the front page of my journal and for a while they became my practice. Every so often, I review the list and take up the practice again. The Lord never fails to bless these efforts and give me a fresh, healthy craving for him. I wanted to share this with you, too, in case (like me) you are feeling mere pangs where you wish you felt faint.

(Based mostly on Psalm 63)
To develop a hunger for the true shewbread, we must

1. Seek God first in priority (Matthew 6:33).

2. Seek God first in activity.

• Any day not surrendered to the Holy Spirit is lived in the flesh.

• If Christ, who was God, had to get up early in the morning to meet with the Father, how much quicker should I be hopping out of bed.

3. Choose to experience his power.

4. Choose to experience his glory.

5. Build a history with God through spiritual encounters.

6. Pray for an acute hunger and thirst for God's presence in your life

• And you will get it! Walk in faith; it's coming.
  

7. Practice an active praise life.

8. Constantly acknowledge your need for help.

9. Conclude each day with meditation.

10. Ask God to awaken you with great anticipation for the next morning.