GREEN-LIGHT revolution

Hi ladies! Happy Wednesday to you… or if you are reading this tomorrow, happy Thursday!

Hannah has been a lady on my heart for the past month. I love her and her story. Now, I know what you’re thinking… “Missy loves every Old Testament woman!” Haha, but seriously… Hannah is great. Before I would read her story, and although I appreciated her, I did not fully understand her heart. But lately God has really been showing me just how similar the two of us are. Hannah’s is a heart that most of us women can relate to. She has a safe home, is provided for, and has someone who loves her. But she also feels like there is a part of her that is incomplete. She is not able to have children. She knows her husband loves her, but there is just that one thing that is making her feel less than whole.

I started thinking of how this applied to me. I am not married, and don’t have children. But I do know that feeling of desire for something else to complete my life. I began reading over this particular verse:

Elkanah her husband would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?” – 1 Samuel 1:8

I could hear the hurt in her husband’s voice. He was feeling like he was not enough for her. Could it be that this is exactly how God’s heart feels towards me every time I ignore him? I knew exactly what God was saying to my heart. “Missy, why are you crying? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I (your Heavenly Husband) mean more to you than an earthly husband?”

Like Hannah, I desire most the one thing I don’t have; when my Heavenly Husband should be my all. I don’t mean to say that Hannah’s desire for a son, or my desire for a husband is wrong; it just needs to be kept in its proper place of submission. God’s heart as our husband right now is jealous for us. He desires to spend all His time with us, and doesn’t want our heart’s affections to be divided and given to something (or someone) else. Someday He may allow an earthly man to come and share part of our affections, but God as our first husband shall always rein as King of our hearts.

But Hannah’s deeply honest prayer is not wrong; it is an act of submission.

“O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life…” – 1 Samuel 1: 11.

If and when God grants me the blessing of an earthly husband someday, this is how I want my prayer to be mirrored. Even though he will be my husband, he will always be God’s first and foremost. He will be like a gift from the Lord, and therefore rightly belonging to Him. I want to constantly be giving him back to the Lord, just like Hannah gives Samuel back to the Lord.

“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over the LORD.”- 1 Samuel 1: 27.

I prayed for this man, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD…

Going green,
Missy

Oh Greenlight ladies, how I’ve missed you! So glad to all be back together in the blog world. :) For those who are new, I’m Missy. I’m a junior Literature major at MSSU in Joplin, and I work in the English and Philosophy department on campus. I love my job and the professors I work with. I’ve lived in this world for 21 years, have a HUGE imagination, and value deep true relationships with my brothers and sisters in Christ over anything.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what is real, and what isn’t real lately. Reality seems like such a blurry line sometimes.

Ok ladies, a moment of super real honesty… have you ever caught yourself having a conversation out loud with someone who is not actually there? The imagined conversation in my mind can seem so real, that I forget it’s not really happening. One time I was driving in my car, imaging a conversation I was having with someone. I imagined what they would say, and then what my response would be, and back and forth… etc. It became so real, that at one point I turned to the passenger seat and dramatically stated something out loud to them! That was the moment I knew I had gone crazy haha.

It is easy to recognize romantic thoughts as the catalyst for something make-believe. We are trained as women to take our romantic daydreams, or impure thoughts captive. But what about the anxious thoughts? Aren’t the worrisome and anxious thoughts make-believe as well? So often when I find myself going down that dreamy romantic path I quickly tell myself: “Whoa Missy, take every thought captive, including the one you are thinking right now.” But how come I don’t do this with negative worried thoughts too? Thoughts like: “What if this happened… or what if God doesn’t come through for me… or I should have a plan in case this happens…” Those are all thoughts that should be taken captive just as quickly as the romantic ones. Reality is not what might happen, or the conversation in my mind, or what I think the future will look like. Reality is what has already happened, and what is currently happening. A few days ago I sat down and made a list of what I knew to be truth, and what I knew to be lies. The end result all ciphered down to this: God is our Truth; He is our reality. The reality is that He laid in that grave for three days, but did not stay there. Reality is that He knows my needs before I even ask. Reality is that He will always, always, always come through for me.

“… we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5.

A girlfriend I had in high school shared with me one time the mental picture she got every time she read this verse. She would picture herself surrounded by white fluffy thought bubbles resembling sheep. She would get out a rope and form it into a lasso, and then one by one lasso each fluffy white thought bubble until all were captured. Then she would herd each thought into a pen just like sheep. Her thoughts were literally captured. I think about that image every time I read that verse now. Worrisome fearful thoughts should have no more free rein in my heart or mind than out of control romantic or impure thoughts. So I’m getting them in that pen!

Going green,
Missy.

Well ladies, this is finale of my relationship learning trilogy. I hope you have enjoyed it so far and that it has made sense to you.
This is the bit that I think keeps me in the best perspective.

I seem to be in the time of life when it seems like everyone I know is getting married, engaged, or finding boyfriends. Not gonna lie, it's been tough. I have felt as though my generation is passing me by into another stage of life that i can't relate to and I'm being left behind in the dust.

I became so caught up in where I thought my life should be that I made myself miserably discontent with where I was right then. I was so focused on other people's lives that I didn't stop to ask God what was right for me. When I finally was able to look beyond my "woe is me" attitude enough to stop and ask that question, I had the revelation that I am not ready for that stage. I am not in a place right now that I can give the time, effort, and emotion needed to be in a relationship with a man and make it work. It wouldn't be fair to him OR me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Guess what. Jesus has different plans for everyone at different stages in their life. Each individual is on a different timeline. I finally realized that I am not on the same path as my friends. God has given me different aspirations, dream, and callings. I believe that God has given me a heart for marriage one day. But I now know that it doesn't matter when my friends are moving on, because they are not me. God knows you inside and out, better than anyone else, even you! And he knows your future husband the same way. And only He knows when the time is right for both of you. When both he and you are in a place that you can do more for Jesus together than you can apart, THAT is when you'll come together. When you are both ready for it, Jesus with open both of your eyes and it'll be more amazing than you could imagine! Because Jesus knows better than People magazine what makes a relationship work.

When I can see it like that, a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. Singleness no longer seems like a burden. And it reminds me that this is an opportunity to make myself the best woman of God I can be. If my husband is out there growing in God and becoming a better man of God for me, then it makes me want to do all I can to be the best I can be for him. Lynn's post "A Need to Know Basis" was great! Now is the time to grow in Jesus, making the most of your single time.

"I adjure you, O Daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, do not stire up or awaken love until it pleases." Song of Songs 2:7 (ESV)

Because it is SO worth the wait!

Going green.
Jenny