Well ladies, this is finale of my relationship learning trilogy. I hope you have enjoyed it so far and that it has made sense to you.
This is the bit that I think keeps me in the best perspective.
I seem to be in the time of life when it seems like everyone I know is getting married, engaged, or finding boyfriends. Not gonna lie, it's been tough. I have felt as though my generation is passing me by into another stage of life that i can't relate to and I'm being left behind in the dust.
I became so caught up in where I thought my life should be that I made myself miserably discontent with where I was right then. I was so focused on other people's lives that I didn't stop to ask God what was right for me. When I finally was able to look beyond my "woe is me" attitude enough to stop and ask that question, I had the revelation that I am not ready for that stage. I am not in a place right now that I can give the time, effort, and emotion needed to be in a relationship with a man and make it work. It wouldn't be fair to him OR me.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Guess what. Jesus has different plans for everyone at different stages in their life. Each individual is on a different timeline. I finally realized that I am not on the same path as my friends. God has given me different aspirations, dream, and callings. I believe that God has given me a heart for marriage one day. But I now know that it doesn't matter when my friends are moving on, because they are not me. God knows you inside and out, better than anyone else, even you! And he knows your future husband the same way. And only He knows when the time is right for both of you. When both he and you are in a place that you can do more for Jesus together than you can apart, THAT is when you'll come together. When you are both ready for it, Jesus with open both of your eyes and it'll be more amazing than you could imagine! Because Jesus knows better than People magazine what makes a relationship work.
When I can see it like that, a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. Singleness no longer seems like a burden. And it reminds me that this is an opportunity to make myself the best woman of God I can be. If my husband is out there growing in God and becoming a better man of God for me, then it makes me want to do all I can to be the best I can be for him. Lynn's post "A Need to Know Basis" was great! Now is the time to grow in Jesus, making the most of your single time.
"I adjure you, O Daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, do not stire up or awaken love until it pleases." Song of Songs 2:7 (ESV)
Because it is SO worth the wait!
Going green.
Jenny
This is the bit that I think keeps me in the best perspective.
I seem to be in the time of life when it seems like everyone I know is getting married, engaged, or finding boyfriends. Not gonna lie, it's been tough. I have felt as though my generation is passing me by into another stage of life that i can't relate to and I'm being left behind in the dust.
I became so caught up in where I thought my life should be that I made myself miserably discontent with where I was right then. I was so focused on other people's lives that I didn't stop to ask God what was right for me. When I finally was able to look beyond my "woe is me" attitude enough to stop and ask that question, I had the revelation that I am not ready for that stage. I am not in a place right now that I can give the time, effort, and emotion needed to be in a relationship with a man and make it work. It wouldn't be fair to him OR me.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Guess what. Jesus has different plans for everyone at different stages in their life. Each individual is on a different timeline. I finally realized that I am not on the same path as my friends. God has given me different aspirations, dream, and callings. I believe that God has given me a heart for marriage one day. But I now know that it doesn't matter when my friends are moving on, because they are not me. God knows you inside and out, better than anyone else, even you! And he knows your future husband the same way. And only He knows when the time is right for both of you. When both he and you are in a place that you can do more for Jesus together than you can apart, THAT is when you'll come together. When you are both ready for it, Jesus with open both of your eyes and it'll be more amazing than you could imagine! Because Jesus knows better than People magazine what makes a relationship work.
When I can see it like that, a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. Singleness no longer seems like a burden. And it reminds me that this is an opportunity to make myself the best woman of God I can be. If my husband is out there growing in God and becoming a better man of God for me, then it makes me want to do all I can to be the best I can be for him. Lynn's post "A Need to Know Basis" was great! Now is the time to grow in Jesus, making the most of your single time.
"I adjure you, O Daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or does of the field, do not stire up or awaken love until it pleases." Song of Songs 2:7 (ESV)
Because it is SO worth the wait!
Going green.
Jenny
February 17, 2011 at 1:20 PM
I agree with you, Jenny! The weight of our own expectations for our life can become so heavy. In a way, it's counter-intuitive and counter-cultural to think of marriage as a flexible event on the timeline of your life, rather than as a fixed point. It doesn't have to go college-->marriage-->house-->kids-->retirement, although that is a fine path. The twists and turns and surprises along the way sure do make a great story, though!
February 17, 2011 at 1:24 PM
GREAT post Jenny! A few years ago, I always worried about being "left behind" when I got older. But now that I am engaged, I try to be really sensitive around single girls because I do NOT want them to envy where I'm at or think that I am staying on pace. While I know this is what God has for me, there have been times where I've wished I could wait a little longer past college to be married! What I'm trying to say, in every phase there are struggles/fears/insecurites that you find yourself dealing with, and I don't feel like my life is more "on-track" because I'm finishing college and getting married, thus I really want to encourage single girls that there are some serious perks to how you're life is going, and there is no right or wrong!