The past few weeks have been a drag. You know those busy days that turn into weeks... then one day you wake up and you have no idea what's going on in the world? Ok, that may just be me but I have been so caught up in class work and my own little world at school, that I have completely missed out... on what's happening in the church, what's going on in my friends' lives, what's going on with Jesus... which explains a lot.
I don't know about you ladies, but when I get lost in my own world, problems get bigger and little things start to annoy the crap out of me. I have trouble focusing so my already overbearing workload seems to grow before my eyes. I have been unmotivated for... well, life in general. It seems all I wanna do is sleep and watch movies, singing "woe is me" and "if only".
BUT... there is hope on the horizon. I finally realized, with the help of an improptu email from my dad, that the reason I felt alone was because I wasn't asking for help. Duh! It seems like such a simple thing in hindsight... "I'm overwhelmed; I can't do this by myself... oh well." What?! No! If I can't do it alone... ASK for HELP!! Get a lighter load! Ugh... why are we sometimes so slow in realizing the simple things? *sigh*
So, I went to the Bible gathering dust on my windowsill. I came across the story of Gideon in Judges 6-8. Gideon defeats the Midianites by God's plan, and now the people want him to rule. In Judges 8:25, Gideon refuses kingship but agrees to a tribute of golden earrings.
"The weight of the gold rings he asked for came to seventeen hundred shekels,[h] not counting the ornaments, the pendants and the purple garments worn by the kings of Midian or the chains that were on their camels’ necks. 27 Gideon made the gold into an ephod, which he placed in Ophrah, his town. All Israel prostituted themselves by worshiping it there, and it became a snare to Gideon and his family.” Judges 8:26-27
The word "snare" caught my attention. I knew I was caught in something, but what? (Certainly not gold earrings! I don't even like jewelry.) I was then reminded of a verse about God searching your heart. I couldn't remember the reference, so I looked it up in the handy-dandy concordance. What I found was Psalms 26:2.
“Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind…”
Reading through Psalms 26 made my heart ache. Verse 3 says “for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.” Immediately, I knew I had forgotten who God was. I had forgotten his unfailing love, greater than any known, his unending faithfulness, for ALL things, even the small!
Right there I stopped and prayed "Search me, O God. Search my heart." Psalms 139:23-24 Now, for those who haven't prayed this, know that this is a dangerous thing to pray... because God will answer, and He will tell you what He sees. I was suddenly aware that I had let my to-do list, schoolwork, loneliness... pile up. I had accepted tribute from the world and it had become a snare, leaving me empty. It had tripped me up and I was lost in stuff, losing sight of Jesus.
The song "Search my heart" by Hillsong United tells of my newfound commitment to pray Psalms 139:23-24 daily. Ladies, help keep me accountable to this.
There is such a relief in knowing the Father, knowing Jesus, knowing He has your back, knowing He cares, knowing that no matter what comes, or what doesn't come, it's all in His hands... so I don't have to get weighted down.
Going green,
Jenny :)
I don't know about you ladies, but when I get lost in my own world, problems get bigger and little things start to annoy the crap out of me. I have trouble focusing so my already overbearing workload seems to grow before my eyes. I have been unmotivated for... well, life in general. It seems all I wanna do is sleep and watch movies, singing "woe is me" and "if only".
BUT... there is hope on the horizon. I finally realized, with the help of an improptu email from my dad, that the reason I felt alone was because I wasn't asking for help. Duh! It seems like such a simple thing in hindsight... "I'm overwhelmed; I can't do this by myself... oh well." What?! No! If I can't do it alone... ASK for HELP!! Get a lighter load! Ugh... why are we sometimes so slow in realizing the simple things? *sigh*
So, I went to the Bible gathering dust on my windowsill. I came across the story of Gideon in Judges 6-8. Gideon defeats the Midianites by God's plan, and now the people want him to rule. In Judges 8:25, Gideon refuses kingship but agrees to a tribute of golden earrings.
"The weight of the gold rings he asked for came to seventeen hundred shekels,[h] not counting the ornaments, the pendants and the purple garments worn by the kings of Midian or the chains that were on their camels’ necks. 27 Gideon made the gold into an ephod, which he placed in Ophrah, his town. All Israel prostituted themselves by worshiping it there, and it became a snare to Gideon and his family.” Judges 8:26-27
The word "snare" caught my attention. I knew I was caught in something, but what? (Certainly not gold earrings! I don't even like jewelry.) I was then reminded of a verse about God searching your heart. I couldn't remember the reference, so I looked it up in the handy-dandy concordance. What I found was Psalms 26:2.
“Test me, LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind…”
Reading through Psalms 26 made my heart ache. Verse 3 says “for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.” Immediately, I knew I had forgotten who God was. I had forgotten his unfailing love, greater than any known, his unending faithfulness, for ALL things, even the small!
Right there I stopped and prayed "Search me, O God. Search my heart." Psalms 139:23-24 Now, for those who haven't prayed this, know that this is a dangerous thing to pray... because God will answer, and He will tell you what He sees. I was suddenly aware that I had let my to-do list, schoolwork, loneliness... pile up. I had accepted tribute from the world and it had become a snare, leaving me empty. It had tripped me up and I was lost in stuff, losing sight of Jesus.
The song "Search my heart" by Hillsong United tells of my newfound commitment to pray Psalms 139:23-24 daily. Ladies, help keep me accountable to this.
There is such a relief in knowing the Father, knowing Jesus, knowing He has your back, knowing He cares, knowing that no matter what comes, or what doesn't come, it's all in His hands... so I don't have to get weighted down.
Going green,
Jenny :)
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