GREEN-LIGHT revolution

My favorite version of Sleeping Beauty is the original fairy tale by Charles Perrault. It is beautiful and vibrant. I re-read it recently, and was struck with just how similar the story is to my relationship with God. Everyone knows the story of the young princess, who pricked her finger on a spinning needle, and slept for 100 years. We know of the enchantment of the castle, the briars put in place to protect her in her slumber, and of the brave prince who came to awaken her from her sleep. But this sentence stood out to me from the tale…

"… there was then in this castle a princess, the most beautiful was ever seen; that she must sleep there a hundred years, and should be waked by a king's son, for whom she was reserved."

A princess, who should be waked by a king’s son, for whom she was reserved. Is this not us? Are we not heavenly princesses who were awakened from our former lives by the King’s Son? And we are in reserve for that Son. We have been set aside to for Him. As we wait, we are reserved for our heavenly husband.

“Sing about a fruitful vineyard: I, the LORD, watch over it; I water it continually. I guard it day and night so that no one may harm it. I am not angry. If only there were briers and thorns confronting me! I would march against them in battle; I would set them all on fire.” – Isaiah 27:2-4.

Anyone else see the connection to Sleeping Beauty?! I admit… I may have freaked out just a bit when I read that passage for the first time… haha.

Just as the fairy enchanted Sleeping Beauty’s castle, the Lord has us, His vineyard, that He watches over and nurtures. The fairy wanted to keep the castle guarded, and so our Lord guards us. The prince who was to awaken Sleeping Beauty had to fight against briars and thorns to find her… our Prince says He would do the exact same thing for us!

“And now, as the enchantment was at an end, the princess awaked, and looking on him with eyes more tender than the first view might seem to admit of. "Is it you, my prince?" said she to him. "You have waited a long while."

May we always look into the face of our heavenly Prince, and say “Is it you, my prince? You have waited a long while.” For Christ is waiting to bring His bride home.

Going green,
Miss

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about being known. A woman’s heart desires to be known. We long to bare our souls to someone who wants to hear. We wish to be known for who we are. I long for someone to love those intimate parts of myself that only I posses… to know that my soul is beautiful. It’s in my heart to desire for a husband to know me; the deepest parts of my personality, what I like and don’t like, what makes me happy, why I do the things I do.

If God blesses me with a husband someday, he will know me—but his knowledge will always be limited. No matter how close we grow together, there will always be parts of me that only God can fully know. God is the only one who could ever know “my ways”. He knows my thoughts; He was there in my very first moments, and even in the moments before I existed. He knows my desires, and what things delight my soul. He allows me to bare my soul to Him, without worry of it ever being rejected. He knows me more intimately than a husband ever could. And He delights in the knowledge of me.

Here are lyrics from a song by Audrey Assad that have blessed my heart deeply. Take to heart the promises of Psalm 139, see the beauty, and know dear soul, that you are known.


“As the dew falls on the blade
You have touched all this fragile frame
And as a mother knows her baby's face
You know me, You know me

As the summer air within my chest
I have breathed You deep down into my breast
And as You know the hairs upon my head
Every thought and every word I've said
Every thought and every word I've said

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

Oh, and as the exhilaration of autumn's bite
Oh, You have brought these tired bones to brilliant life
And as the swallow knows, she knows the sky
This is how it is with You and I
Oh, this is how it is with You and I

Savior, You have known me as I am
Healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known me, yeah, You know me

From the fall of my heart to the resurrection of my soul
You know me, God, and You know my ways
In my rising and my sitting down
You see me as I am, oh, see me as I am

And as a lover knows his beloved's heart
All the shapes and curves of her even in the dark
Oh, You have formed one in my inward parts
And You know me, You know me, yes

Savior, You, You have known me as I am
Oh, healer, You have known me as I was
As I will be in the morning, in the evening
You have known

You have known me, in the morning, in the evening
You've known me, God
In the morning, in the evening You have known me
Yeah, You've know me

You have always known me
You know me, God, You have known me
You have always known my heart”



Going green,
Miss

Freshmen… the source of frustration and entertainment for upper-classmen, a new start… first year away from home, freedom from mom and dad, first taste of the real world, no preceding reputations from high school… Freshmen are fascinating. Here in St Joseph, MO we have an on-campus Christian organization called Mobilise that is linked with my church, Living Hope Church. We had a booth at our freshmen orientation fair this morning. In speaking with and observing many freshmen, I was fascinated by the lessons I saw there. There are several different kinds of freshmen: the shy, unsure, and overwhelmed who look slightly lost even in an organized group; the outgoing and headstrong with a look-at-me attitude that scream that they want to make a different impression than they left in high-school; and the excited, just taking it all in, ready for a challenge go-getters. In seeing these different groups of youngsters (b/c I’m just so old ;) ) interact, I started thinking about life and different perspectives we take in our circumstances. We can be submissive and shy, letting our circumstances get the best of us; we can attempt to play it off like it doesn’t bother us, all the while letting it eat at us and throw us into internal chaos; OR we can go out head strong taking challenges as they come, being honest about the dangers, challenges, and things we just can’t change.

Freshmen can also be very vulnerable, easily led by those who would have their way with them, willing to try new things to the point of fault, willing to be consumed…

One of my favorite songs is “More Than a Friend” by Jeremy Riddle. Jesus needs to be our everything, the solid rock we stand on. He’s the only one who knows who we truly are, more than those you’ve grown up in high school with, more than your parents, more than your college roommates… even more than you. It’s so incredible to think that the Creator of the Universe stopped to make time to put you together with so much detail and care and excitement that it is unrivaled. It is an incredible realization… when I get caught up in seeing others fulfill the dreams that I have for myself… I stop and gain some perspective.

Who knows me better than I do? Who has bigger plans for me than I would dare to dream for myself? How am I going to choose to approach this? What perspective do I want to have? Will I let Jesus rule the situation or will I let the situation rule me? It all comes down to choice. Choose Jesus or let yourself be swept away. Today, I think I’ll choose Jesus.

Lord, please give me strength to choose you everyday… not just today. I love you. Amen.

Going green

Jenny

This has been a long week and it’s late and I am tired from lack of sleep the last few days, so this will be a very short post with more to follow in the next couple days.

With all of the weddings, engagements, babies, the crush that I apparently couldn’t forget… a lot has transpired in the last few months of summer. The one verse that I kept reminding myself with is Song of Songs 2:7 “O, Daughters of Jerusalem, do not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” When everyone deserves congratulations, it can be hard to see where your life is headed. But ultimately God knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper and not to harm… And thinking of just how big this world is and how much intricacy God has put into it and then how much intricacy he’s put into our lives, it makes it much easier to be genuine in my congratulations, being happy for them because I know that I am right where God wants me to be for now… “for such a time as this.” (Esther)

Going green

Jenny

Why do I still hurt if I've forgiven the people in my past? God peels the hard layers off my heart and feelings of resentment and indignation come gushing out. It's almost as if the wounds are fresh.

Resent (verb): to feel or show displeasure or indignation at a person, act or remark from a sense of injury or insult; to feel bitter, indignant or aggrieved.

Indignant (adj): feeling characterized by or expressing, strong displeasure at something considered injust, offensive, insulting.

Have you ever picked a scab? The wound begins to itch under the surface of your skin. As you scratch it away, raw flesh is revealed, new blood appears. The itching sensation is actually a good sign. Uncomfortable, but it means healing is in progress. When the scab is removed, fresh blood flows to the surface, bringing relief from the itching, coagulating again to form another, less significant scab. The process continues until the wound is fully healed, and new living skin or scar tissue (if the wound is deep enough) forms, bringing complete protection to the area.

Like a lot of us I have scars from my past, but some are not fully healed. Certain seasons and circumstances in life cause my unhealed wounds to itch, and God is good to address these areas, peeling off the hard surfaces that have formed over my heart, bringing new blood and new life to flow in those areas... more healing. As the days pass, some of these wounds turn to scars... reminders of what once was, but no longer needing the attention and care that an unhealed, open wound requires.

I'm still carrying hard scabs of resentment, indignation and bitterness that are not righteous. I say I have forgiven people through the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ, and I have. But past wounds have caused attitudes of expectation and entitlement that were never meant to be in my heart. God knows this. God is faithful to bring me into seasons and circumstances that reveal this. He is faithful to give me opportunities to release and let go of the bitterness that has crusted over places of my heart. He always uses other people to help reveal and likewise love me through these things. I am thankful for that (most days!)

The process is not easy. I often feel open, exposed, vulnerable, raw... staring my insecurities right in the face. I have days where I want to run away, shut down, tune God out, withdraw from His community (the church). But I know the rewards and the blessings and the fruits and the joys of freedom in Christ. Once you've tasted it, nothing else satisfies, no matter how difficult. Walking in the freedom only Jesus offers is a journey I began when I accepted His invitation to follow Him. He is faithful to carry me and pour grace over me on the days I don't feel I can take another step. He is faithful to strengthen me in His love and grace.

He wouldn't redeem me, He wouldn't bother to heal my heart, if He didn't love me. So I continue to "walk the distance another day, the rope is thin but does not give way ... for I would rather have the mystery and the madness and the rains, because hell's the only place you can be free of all love's pain."

Made Alive in Christ and going green!
blogger bek

Hello blog world. This is pt.4 of an ongoing series recording my journey through healing and freedom from bitterness. Read my previous posts here.

I'm still dealing with bitterness. Bitterness... that which is bitter. The word feels heavy on my tongue... compounded like layers of solid rock, heavy on my heart. Bitterness from past hurts: some self-inflicted pain (i.e. my own sin against God), some wounds caused by others (i.e. sin done against me).

The deeper I dive into relationship with God, the more He reveals His deep love for me. Part of His love in this season of my life is being demonstrated through His bringing bitterness to the surface of my heart: unforgiveness, resentment, false expectations... all things that are preventing me from loving others, things that are preventing me from walking in all the freedom that God offers, things that rob me from the joy of Jesus Christ.

Sometimes I wonder how I got here... 27 years and so much has happened. God reminds me He knows How to Save a Life.

One time in the ER, I had 8 stitches put into a deep cut in my foot without anything to numb the pain. First the wound had to be cleaned to remove bacteria. I then watched as the doctor threaded a needle in and out of the area, 16 times back and forth to close the wound. My friend grabbed my hand and I held onto it as hard as I knew how. I didn't say a word... the hot tears rolling out of my eyes said more than any words could. I remember my friend speaking words of consolation to me. I remember the Dr. encouraging me through the process, telling me I was doing a great job... telling me I was brave, telling me I was strong.

I was thankful for the hand of my friend that day. I held on like I'd never let go. I was thankful for the Dr.'s smile, his kindness and his words as he performed the painful task, a task that was absolutely necessary in order for my healing. I didn't question the Dr.'s intention.

But I have questioned God's intention. As He cleans the wounds of my heart, absolutely necessary in order for my healing, I've questioned why He is doing so, and at times I've even pulled away from Him because of the pain. Then I wonder why I find it hard to hear His voice.

Sometimes in the midst of great pain it's difficult to hear words of consolation. We hear the tone and the volume of a comforting voice, we feel the hands holding ours like they'll never let go, we sense the presence of those who love us around us... but the impact of the pain can drown out the comfort and overwhelm us.

In the dead of night it's hard to imagine the brightness of the sun, but the light always comes in the morning. The promise of relief always comes with Jesus. It comes in waves, it comes in the morning. Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning -Psalm 30:5.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under Heaven ... a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance... -Ecclesiastes 3

Going Green (and more free!)
Blogger Bek

My understanding of what it means to trust God is evolving. A new dimension has been added recently. I was praying through a difficult situation, trying to get a peaceful heart and a good perspective, and I sensed God say something shocking. He said, If I do things that cause you pain, you have to trust me to comfort you. Before, I had trusted God to hear my prayers and do what was right, and if I was disappointed in the outcome, I thought it was up to me to get over it. Here was God acknowledging the potential for my disappointment and putting himself at the center of my grief.

I tend to keep things that are painful very close. It is an intimate thing to share your deepest hurts with someone, and out of all my acquaintances, I have just a few friends whom I trust enough to talk about the things that sting the most. But the Lord will not be content to remain a fairweather friend; he is the God of all comfort and he will request access to the most tender and vulnerable parts of my heart.

This encouragement to trust him with my disappointment has come before. Last year, a friend was praying for me and said that God wanted me to look to him for encouragement instead of always trying to pull myself up by the ol' bootstraps. Another time when I was feeling discouraged and wondering if or when things would change, the Lord spoke again and said, I know how it feels to long for your wedding day. I had not thought about that. Jesus is waiting for the day when his bride, the Church, will be joined to him forever in the home that he has prepared for us. And he knows the joys and the struggles of a long wait.

Hebrews 4 says that we do not have an unsympathetic high priest. Friends, will you tell him about your hurts and heartaches today? See what comfort he has for you.

Too opinionated. Not smart enough. Too independent. Not pretty enough. Too emotional. Not witty enough. Too much of this and not enough of that. If I was more like her, if I was less like me. I’ve charged myself with all of these “two much and not enough” indictments. In the first place, to think like that is wrong--it’s an assessment of myself that does not start with what God says about me and does not include the input of the Holy Spirit, who is sharp enough to discern and dissect the inner-workings of my heart . But aside from that, the thing I notice when I look at this list of shortcomings is that most of them fall within the realm of charm and beauty.

“Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

This verse pushes the Reset button on my perspective. How miserable do I want to make myself for not excelling in things that won’t last? Not very miserable. How much time do I want to spend developing qualities that will fade? Not very much. But a woman who fears the Lord, is to be praised...

I have wrestled with the phrase, “the fear of the Lord.” Is it like the fear of mice or snakes or bad guys? Does it make you want to run and hide? The Lord is indeed powerful, awesome, terrifying at times, and always right. That is kinda scary. However, he is also the only one who can save me from what I really deserve. He is my righteous judge and my only hope. If I was not afraid of his judgement, I would not know my need for a Savior. I am dependent on his mercy to rescue me from his wrath. This is not fright or phobia (which cause us to flee), but a reverent awe (which draws us closer for a better look). Fear of the Lord is a narrow passage we walk through that opens up into the bright, verdant valley of God’s favor. It can actually draw me closer to him.

What does Scripture promise to those who fear the Lord? Friendship with God, his pleasure, his steadfast love, his protection and deliverance, constant provision, wisdom, fountains of life within, and more are promised to those who fear the Lord. (Check out these verses.) All of that sounds better to me than a lifetime of good hair days or an endless supply of clever remarks. Charm and beauty will not last, but even if they did, they will never do me as much good as fearing the Lord.

Instead of dwelling on our “too muches” and “not enoughs,” let’s treasure God’s approval and cultivate a reverent awe of the fact that he has bestowed it upon us. Much is promised to that woman.

Going green!

Lynn

I'm a self-proclaimed nerd and I love doing finances. I actually have a degree in Math Education, but I ended up doing accounting for Jubilee Church instead. Those are pretty similar right? One of my favorite things to do at work is reconcile bank and credit card statements. Seriously, I'll get one in the mail and I'll start cheering. My coworkers can attest to this. I think the reason I love it so much is that it gives me a way to check my work every month to make sure I'm on the right track. If I've forgotten to enter a transaction or if I've made a mistake in some way, this process is going to find it. I love it how when everything matches up, at the bottom of the screen it shows a balance of zero. It's like getting to start each month with a clean slate.

I was thinking about how this is similar to being in a relationship with God. When I started following Jesus and gave my life to Him, all my sins (past, present, and future) were wiped clean and I was made new (2 Corinthians 5:17). Blank slate. However, even though God sees me as blameless and pure, I still sometimes sin. I find that when I neglect spending time with Jesus, different areas of my life start going off track. I get snippy with my roommates, I become selfish with my time, I have bad attitudes...it's just not good. But when I stay connected with God, spending time with Him in worship, reading my Bible, praying, being involved in my church community, I find that those mistakes I'm making and bad attitudes I have are revealed and I'm “reconciled” once again to where I'm supposed to be. Staying connected with God and making time for Him is something I really struggle with and an area I’m constantly being challenged in, so I feel that in writing this I'm challenging myself just as much, if not more, as I'm challenging you.

Jesus, help me to make you a priority in my life. Give me the desire every day to seek you and know you deeper. I want to be more and more like you so that I can be a witness of your goodness and grace to those around me. Thank you, God, for reconciling me and making me new when I didn't deserve it. I am so thankful for your unending love.

Going green,
Renee

Hi ladies! My name is Renee Scott, I'm 25, living in Saint Louis, and SINGLE! I work for Jubilee Church as their financial manager and Newfrontiers USA as their conference coordinator. Although I can now call Saint Louis home, I haven't always lived in the big city. I'm originally from a small town in Nebraska, so this is a bit of a change for me. I moved to Saint Louis three years ago when I was placed here for Frontier Year Team, not knowing fully what I had gotten myself into. I was convinced it would be a year long placement and then I would move on, but God had very different plans for me (you can watch more of my story here...).

This year I have learned the art of patience! Ok, actually I'm still learning, but God has taught me a lot about waiting for his timing and trusting wise counsel. Earlier this year I had a guy pursuing me and I thought, “I love Jesus, he loves Jesus, we get along great, let's do this!” When we were getting to know each other we had some warnings along the way from our mentors saying “Maybe this isn't the right time...” but we continued on anyway. Finally, the elders stepped in and told us flat out “We think you need to wait, this isn't the right time.” At that time I felt like it was easy to take their advice. I did feel a bit out of control in the relationship and I knew that we could do things better if we waited, so I agreed.

3 months later...
The same guy started to pursue me again. We sought advice, we prayed, we set boundaries, everything seemed to be going well! Then the elders stepped in again and said “We think you need to wait, we don't think this is the right time, but ultimately, it's up to you.” WHAT!? I didn't respond as well this time around. I had waited, I had put in my time, I had done everything right, why can't I just be happy!? After about a day I started to calm down and started to pray. I was reminded of this verse that says,

“We have a young sister...What shall we do for our sister for the day she is spoken for? If she is a wall, we will build towers of silver on her. If she is a door, we will enclose her with panels of cedar” Song of Songs 8:8-9 NIV

I realized that they weren't trying to be a killjoy, they were trying to protect me. Looking back through different experiences, I have found that following the counsel of my elders, mentors, people around me who love me, is a crucial thing and can bring freedom to my life. They know me best and they want to see me succeed. Plus, they can see things from the outside that I may not be able to see in the moment. So, in the end, I followed their advice to wait and be patient and I know that was the best decision I could have made.

“The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death.” Proverbs 13:14 NIV

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22 NIV

Going green,
Renee