God is so amazingly patient and kind. Here I was standing face to face with my Rescuer, my Knight on a white horse come to free me from captivity and what happens? I freeze up from spiritual Stockholm Syndrome.
God has been so faithful over the years. I think that I can sometimes expect Him to so badly want the sin, lies and fears out of me that He'll remove them like a surgeon not using anesthetic. He doesn't do that, but neither does He give in to my whining and pleading to keep things that aren't from Him. He very gently takes my hand and walks me through the whole process.
In this case, He exposed how I had attached my identity to the lies that Satan, life events, and sometimes other people had told me about myself. Remember how I described those lies as being friends? I'm the kind of person that is pretty loyal to her friends, and also pretty proud to have them in her life. I treated these lies the same way. If God would pull me away into His truth and the lie jumped up to pull me back, my loyalty would kick in. I would think, "Oh yeah. Life experience and relationship [with the lie] have taught me that I'm supposed to be like this, or act like that." And if God, or anyone else, tried to speak truth into that area, I would feel offended, thinking, "Hey! That's me you're talking about!" unable to separate myself (who God declares me to be) from the lie. I wore the lie with pride and, like an old tattoo it seemed forever imbedded in me.
I'll say it again: God is so faithful! He's never given up on me. Even when I haven't known exactly what He's been doing and even though I haven't always been on board with His methods, He has been hunting down those filthy little lies and killing them one by one. His chief weapon has been a massive sword of love, followed very quickly by a powerful punch-in-the-face of truth, sending it into oblivion. (That's how I like to imagine God fighting.) Many battles have been won and I can honestly say that God has, and still is, transforming my identity. Not only am I no longer friends with the lies, but I grow in my hatred of them day by day. I don't know for sure how many still remain, but God does and He is faithful to complete the work that He starts! (Philippians 1:6)
In many ways, exposing the lies and replacing them with truth has only been the beginning of this massive identity transformation. God has also been showing me how my response to the lies and hurts of my past have many times been sinful and have led me into patterns of sinful thinking and behavior. But I no longer fear the exposure like I did in the past. I'm grateful that God doesn't leave me wallowing in the muck. Now the question is, am I going to let Him pick me up and carry me out of it, or am I going to try and do this one on my own?
...to be continued...
Going Green,
Samantha
God has been so faithful over the years. I think that I can sometimes expect Him to so badly want the sin, lies and fears out of me that He'll remove them like a surgeon not using anesthetic. He doesn't do that, but neither does He give in to my whining and pleading to keep things that aren't from Him. He very gently takes my hand and walks me through the whole process.
In this case, He exposed how I had attached my identity to the lies that Satan, life events, and sometimes other people had told me about myself. Remember how I described those lies as being friends? I'm the kind of person that is pretty loyal to her friends, and also pretty proud to have them in her life. I treated these lies the same way. If God would pull me away into His truth and the lie jumped up to pull me back, my loyalty would kick in. I would think, "Oh yeah. Life experience and relationship [with the lie] have taught me that I'm supposed to be like this, or act like that." And if God, or anyone else, tried to speak truth into that area, I would feel offended, thinking, "Hey! That's me you're talking about!" unable to separate myself (who God declares me to be) from the lie. I wore the lie with pride and, like an old tattoo it seemed forever imbedded in me.
I'll say it again: God is so faithful! He's never given up on me. Even when I haven't known exactly what He's been doing and even though I haven't always been on board with His methods, He has been hunting down those filthy little lies and killing them one by one. His chief weapon has been a massive sword of love, followed very quickly by a powerful punch-in-the-face of truth, sending it into oblivion. (That's how I like to imagine God fighting.) Many battles have been won and I can honestly say that God has, and still is, transforming my identity. Not only am I no longer friends with the lies, but I grow in my hatred of them day by day. I don't know for sure how many still remain, but God does and He is faithful to complete the work that He starts! (Philippians 1:6)
In many ways, exposing the lies and replacing them with truth has only been the beginning of this massive identity transformation. God has also been showing me how my response to the lies and hurts of my past have many times been sinful and have led me into patterns of sinful thinking and behavior. But I no longer fear the exposure like I did in the past. I'm grateful that God doesn't leave me wallowing in the muck. Now the question is, am I going to let Him pick me up and carry me out of it, or am I going to try and do this one on my own?
...to be continued...
Going Green,
Samantha
December 2, 2011 at 2:38 PM
I'm really enjoying this series, Sam! Thank you for your honesty and sharing with us! It's been encouraging for me to read your story as it reminds me of similar things He's done in my life. So much grace, love and mercy He has for us! Eagerly awaiting part III! :)
December 2, 2011 at 2:49 PM
The line about Stockholm Syndrome really got me! It's a powerful picture of how we can begin to identify with our captors. So glad God reveals these things to us about ourselves and makes us new.